Weapons of mass frustration

Mumsmental - 14 Jun 16

Me: “oh wow, that’s great building. What’s it going to be?”

My youngest child (and boy) is constructing the marble run pieces.

3 yr old:”it’s a gun!” Said with such pleasure and pride on his face.

Once upon a time we had a (toy) gun free home. Whilst I concede that as my eldest is a girl, maybe the lack of violent toys was an ingrained gender distinction, I maintain that I just wasn’t up for weapons. I don’t  have them in my life. I don’t agree they bring any positives to the world. I wasn’t allowed them when I was little.

Now? My house is FULL of bloody weapons!: guns, swords, arrows, and how can I forget, light sabers. And it frustrates me.

Strewn across the boys room (yes, I now have 2 boys) are these toy weapons. Walking down the stairs; crash! bang! The pile of plastic arsonary falls from where I optimistically pile it, hoping it will be at least taken out of sight.

So, did my boys bring these weapons into my home because I gave into gender stereotype? Are they predisposed to love them and therefore this was going to happen? There’s no doubt that even now my daughter doesn’t play with weapons and she’s an active, Star Wars watching, football playing girl. The boys? From 2 years old, a twig picked up became an object to hold up at me with an accompanying firing noise being made. In play there’s a need to be at battle (and so they need their tools).

I don’t even know where the collection has come from. I don’t buy them. I’m even the mean mummy who says they can use their pocket money to buy themselves something and then lays down the law if they suggest a weapon. I think we gain the plastic tat that other parents have tried to banish, you know the stuff that’s conveniently lent to a friend in the hope it’s doesn’t return.

I should be clear that both my boys play brilliantly at many other things and can be calm and loving and imaginative. I think they are pretty balanced in their interests, though Star Wars and light sabers have has some what taken over the home. (Our coloured dining chairs are now reflective of Star Wars characters and arguments occur if one doesn’t get to sit in the green chair and be ‘yoga’!).

My daughter is now showing an interest in makeup, a gender orientated hobby (all be it applied like a pantomime dame). Should I be against this in as much force as the guns, based on stereotypes?

I think my issue with the weapons is that they are, well, weapons and I just don’t like them. I don’t like the violence and aggression they can instill in the play. Some days I remove the guns and light sabers etc. I gather them up and hide them. You know what happens? My sons play beautifully with lego or marble run and make………. More guns.

Weapons of mass construction, perhaps.

Mumsmental

http://www.mumsmental.wordpress.com Mother. Wife. Twin. Daughter of a bipolar mum. Shoe, Chocolate and Rum lover. I'm working and mothering and on a mission to enjoy both. I think about mental health and finding a balance in life quite a lot. Writing helps, so I blog.

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