WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER

wordswithmrsh - 7 Mar 16

Another Mother’s day done…. although it is tempting to feel a bit cynical about Mother’s day, you will never hear me complaining about breakfast in bed, flowers and a few extra cuddles and thank yous from my little people. Perhaps this blog is inspired by a post-Mother’s day high. Being a parent is hard, wherever and however you find yourself on the journey and a whole day a year to salute us all feels indulgent, but totally justified. 

As our children get older and we prepare to expand our family further, I truly appreciate even more that we really are all in this together. Therefore, although they don’t get their own day, I’m stopping to reflect and give a big shout out to our children. The ones who give us the gray hairs, sleepless nights, raging tantrums. The destroyers of peace and calm, the cause of chaos and confusion, the source of endless worry and doubt, frustration and exhaustion. I could not be the Mum I am without the love and support I am blessed to have around me and this simply has to include my kids.

At 8 and 3, they continue to delight and surprise and make us proud. Recently, our 8 year old will get up in the morning and read his brother books in bed, as I doze and try and drag my ridiculously heavily pregnant self out of bed. That extra 10 minutes means more than the world to me at this time. He laughs a lot, even when you’re not sure what’s so funny but it’s infectious. He has a talent for one liners with excellent timing and just the right amount of cheeky.  His excitement and enthusiasm is endless. He still wants cuddles (just) and when he sees I am tired or tense or just not winning, he helps me.

At 3, our wee man is a whirlwind; he’s fearless and determined and he adores his big brother. He loves music, dance and singing – as long as you’re getting the actions and words just right. He also loves his cuddles, snuggling up to read books and jumping out of not so hidden spaces shouting ‘surprise’ in the worlds longest ongoing game of hide and seek. And last week, when I started to melt down and cry over spilt tea, lack of sleep and the reality of now nearing the maximum 42 weeks (294 days) of pregnancy 3, he came up and gave me cuddle and asked if I was ok. He ran off unprompted to get me a tissue and then said ‘No no mummy, your eyes are too wet’ and tried to wipe my tears.

In the noise, mess and chaos of family life they keep me going because, why wouldn’t you keep pushing on for these little people? I see glimpses of my husband and I in our boys personalities in but I enjoy the fact that they are their own people and everything they bring to our family. I think it’s our job as parents to nurture their natures, bring out the best in them with guidance and care. In return, I feel they bring out the best in me or on a tough day, the desire to keep trying to do my best for them.  

Just as being a parent is hard, being a child and finding your way is daunting. Family life is not always sunshine and picnics and fun, fun, fun, as much as we might want it to be for our children. Being part of a family, in whatever form that takes, teaches us all about love and laughing; but also about caring for others, putting them first, feeling ok to be scared or weak, forgiveness and honesty. As much as I think I can see and I hope our children are learning from us, I know I am learning from them just the same.

This next baby is going to have to arrive at some point and when they do they are super lucky to already have these 2 particular big brothers ready and waiting. However, a new baby is going to make life unpredictable and unsettled for a while and this makes me anxious for our boys. How will they cope with the changes, will they have enough attention, how will my husband and I cope? Then, when I think about who our children are and what they already bring to our family, I feel that although it’s not going to be easy, it will be ok.

Tradition in our home dictates that children’s birthdays, after the parties, are celebrated with a glass of bubbles. A grown up pat on the back and celebration that we have survived, we’ve made it and safely got our kids through another year. However, without our boys being them, we wouldn’t be us. So maybe we need to start having a second glass (or more) to toast our brilliant children, because although we get our days to as parents to be celebrated, when it comes to daily family life we really are all in it together.

wordswithmrsh

Mum of fabulous children, wife to one very patient husband. My blogs are about anything that has popped into my head as it occurs to me. I have aspirations to write more, that are slowly turning into reality. A lover of the simple things in life - good friends, good food, good wine and of course family.

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