We’re Going on a Mini Break!
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Let’s go on a nice short half term family break we said…… 12 steps to getting off the drive.
1.Load up the car whilst removing all the wrappers, broken biscuits, crumbled up crisps and bits of lego/remaining objects from party bags that have gathered over the last 7 weeks.
2.Tell 8 year old to go and brush his teeth for 50th time or ”you aren’t coming with us” to which he replies ”it’s going to be rubbish anyway there’s no wifi there”.
3.Extract teenager from under duvet, hand drink into said teenagers hand and beg them to remove
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themselves out of the bed and into clean clothing ready for trip.
4.Whilst extracting teenager from her slumber, five year old has got into teenagers pencil case and drawn a ’nice’ picture for Daddy on his arm with a Sharpie.
5.Wash five year old’s arm. Sharpie does not wash off skin.
6.Place bags into crumb free car, that’s one bag for parents and two boys and one huge suitcase just for the teenager.
7.Whilst putting bags into car, five year old discovers month old piece of birthday cake under his car seat and starts to
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taste…..
8.Take five year old out of car, re wash and clear all cake out of mouth.
9.Teenager and eight year old are now hitting each other over the head, eight year old screaming ”I hate you you smelly spotty pig.” Teenager now in tears.
10.Move car seats so that Teenager and eight year old are now longer within touching distance of each other.
11.All children now seated present and correct in car. Husband shouts loudly down the drive ”is the house alarm code still 5978?”
12.Go back into house to find house alarm manual as paranoia
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has set in that lurking burglar may have heard Husband divulge code and I cannot leave the house until it’s changed.
Right all back in car, house is alarmed and off we go…….. oh hang on five year old now needs a wee (smacks head off steering wheel) Arrggghhhh Happy Bloody Half Term!
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Chocolate and Wine is the Solution - 24 Oct 16
Let’s go on a nice short half term family break we said…… 12 steps to getting off the drive.
1.Load up the car whilst removing all the wrappers, broken biscuits, crumbled up crisps and bits of lego/remaining objects from party bags that have gathered over the last 7 weeks.
2.Tell 8 year old to go and brush his teeth for 50th time or “you aren’t coming with us” to which he replies “it’s going to be rubbish anyway there’s no wifi there”.
3.Extract teenager from under duvet, hand drink into said teenagers hand and beg them to remove themselves out of the bed and into clean clothing ready for trip.
4.Whilst extracting teenager from her slumber, five year old has got into teenagers pencil case and drawn a ‘nice’ picture for Daddy on his arm with a Sharpie.
5.Wash five year old’s arm. Sharpie does not wash off skin.
6.Place bags into crumb free car, that’s one bag for parents and two boys and one huge suitcase just for the teenager.
7.Whilst putting bags into car, five year old discovers month old piece of birthday cake under his car seat and starts to taste…..
8.Take five year old out of car, re wash and clear all cake out of mouth.
9.Teenager and eight year old are now hitting each other over the head, eight year old screaming “I hate you you smelly spotty pig.” Teenager now in tears.
10.Move car seats so that Teenager and eight year old are now longer within touching distance of each other.
11.All children now seated present and correct in car. Husband shouts loudly down the drive “is the house alarm code still 5978?”
12.Go back into house to find house alarm manual as paranoia has set in that lurking burglar may have heard Husband divulge code and I cannot leave the house until it’s changed.
Right all back in car, house is alarmed and off we go…….. oh hang on five year old now needs a wee (smacks head off steering wheel) Arrggghhhh Happy Bloody Half Term!
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