What Mother’s Day means to you

Corporate to Kids - 26 Mar 19

It’s Mother’s Day this Sunday and it’s a special day. We’re reminded of our worth as mums and we can celebrate our own mums. However, it’s not as simple as that for everyone. What about those who have lost their mother? Or those who desperately want to be a mother, but are not? For those of us who are mums, what about just spending some time alone? Isn’t that the present we’re secretly hoping for, but not allowed to admit to?

Once upon a time
When my boys were really little, my husband booked a pub lunch for Mother’s Day. We both ensured we saw our own mums around the date, but the actual Sunday was just the four of us. The problem was it was completely overinflated in price and overbooked in numbers. I remember waiting for ages for the food and the boys were so fed up that we took it in turns to walk them around the freezing beer garden, in between chucking snacks at them. It was hardly the stress-free epitome of family life. I admit, we now don’t go in for all the commercialised craziness.

Your own family
It was relatively easy to see my mum on Mother’s Day before I had children. However, when children enter the picture it changes the focus, the dynamics and logistics. Should the focus be about me when I became a mother? So now, we just ensure we see our mums around Mother’s Day rather than the actual day. I love my mum and I love spending time with her. Though surely the focus should be on getting together sometime rather than the pressure of the exact day?

What about loss?
While Mother’s Day is a happy occasion for some, it can be a reminder of loss for others. I have friends who have lost parents and so Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are a stark reminder of what they are missing. A day where I imagine that grief becomes more heightened. One friend recently lost her mother and this will be her first year as a mother. Very bittersweet. There is also a loss related to those mothers who have lost a child. A day that surely brings reminders and raw emotion. It must be exceptionally difficult too for those women who so desperately want to be a mother but are not.

Do we need a dedicated day?
Wouldn’t it be lovely to be spoilt and celebrated every day rather than the annual dedicated day? Let’s be honest, this is the real world and it’s very easy to forget and take others for granted. In an ideal world, all children would be perfect for their parents every day, but that’s just a ridiculous ask. My son said to me this morning that he was practising being nice so he could be good for me on Sunday. It’s the thought that counts surely?

My ideal day
There is a notable link between Mother’s Day and a family day. A pressure to all do something extraordinary together, because, it’s MOTHER’S DAY. This is may offend some parents and resonate with others, but if I could select my perfect Mother’s Day it would start with a lie in. I don’t crave breakfast in bed I crave bucketloads of kip. No alarm, no child at my side, just peace and quiet. I would then just like some ‘me’ time. A long shower, leisurely breakfast (or lunch depending on such how colossal the lie in was) and some guilt-free time alone. No work, no chores, no pleasing others. Just me, myself and I.

Selfish? Possibly? Against everything that Mother’s Day represents? Undoubtedly. True? Absolutely.

How you celebrate, or if you do, will be specific to you and your family. I have a friend who is going to an evening performance of Magic Mike the musical on Mother’s Day and another who accepted a last-minute offer to head away with a friend for the weekend. It’s about personal choice. Yes, it’s a celebration for mothers everywhere, but it’s also about rewarding us for what we do for our families all year round and we should have a choice in that reward.

Mine? Sleep. Make it a triple.

Corporate to Kids

Who: Sarah - Queen of self-deprecation Job: from corporate HR career to Mum, Writer and Blogger Children: two boys with a 13 month age gap!! Obsessions: writing, Haribos, rainbows, coffee, fizz

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