WHAT THE TEACHER SAW

Marianne Hill - 1 Sep 14

It is finally happening. The Summer holiday is at last drawing to a close and for different people this means different things. For some parents the return to school can’t come soon enough. The weeks of finding things to do in an effort to keep their children entertained have been relentless and exhausting (both physically and financially) and they are only too happy for their offspring to return to school. For others it is a dreaded time, having to relinquish control and protection of their child, passing the job onto relative strangers and leaving their child to fend for themselves in the big, scary outside world.

I myself can see the whole returning to school experience from both sides for I am not only a mother but also a teacher. Having been a Foundation Stage/Year 1 teacher for 20 years I have witnessed the anguish that many parents can go through when leaving their child on the first day of term, especially if it is the very first day of school for their child. And I have also been that parent, going through the torment of sending my poor, defenceless child off into the unknown, fighting back my tears while forcing from my mind thoughts of the myriad tragedies that could potentially befall my little cherub.

In my role as teacher, I have countless times had to physically separate a distraught mother from an equally distraught child at the classroom door, assuring her that I will of course call if the child doesn’t settle down. I have seen parents blow endless kisses from the window before gradually but reluctantly withdrawing from sight only to reappear moments later to check if those passed fleeting seconds have seen their child calm down, only to then disappear again and reappear again and then disappear again and reappear again and wondering why their child hasn’t yet settled! I have received frantic phone calls from parents who managed to get just outside the school gates before calling to ask if the tears have stopped. I have seen parents peering through the gaps in the fence desperately trying to catch a glimpse of their child. I have even found one particularly protective mother hiding behind a playhouse in the playground in an effort to monitor proceedings from her covert stakeout.

In short I have seen it all. Nothing could surprise me. However from my vantage point I would like to reassure any anxious parents that children always, yes always, settle down eventually. It may not necessarily be quickly but it will always happen and it will certainly happen much quicker if you just leave and let us get on with it! Saying goodbye and leaving only to then rapidly reappear will only serve to cause more upset, so please trust your child’s teacher when they tell you not to worry, that everything will be fine, to go. Only once in my 20 years of teaching have I had a child in my class that resolutely refused to settle. I won’t mention any names although I’m sure this mother will recognise her own child if she reads this. The young girl in question cried non-stop, literally non-stop, for two weeks which was a particularly difficult experience for all concerned, but fortunately as experiences go it is a very rare one. Children are incredibly versatile and are wonderfully adept at adapting to new situations. Being granted the freedom and independence to find their own unique place in this new environment, whether it be a new class or a new school, is an important part of any child’s journey. New friendships are made, obstacles overcome, valuable skills are learned and an essential self confidence is developed. Even at such a very young age children never fail to surprise me at just how resilient and resourceful they are.

So parents, take heart and let your child embark on these new experiences unhindered. I understand that you have worries, I acknowledge that this is a stressful time, I have been there myself, but please, keep those concerns to yourself. Don’t let your child pick up on them and absorb them but instead fill them with confidence, excitement and a sense of their own potential. And please, once you’ve waved goodbye from the classroom window whatever you do, don’t keep coming back!

Marianne Hill

Marianne Hill is a primary school teacher who, in those rare, quiet moments when she is not surrounded by children at work or at home, can usually be found either writing articles or blog posts, reading, listening to music or posting on Facebook. Alternatively she could be out running or cycling around the Estepona area of the Costa del Sol of Spain, where she lives with her children Sam, 7 and Henry, 5. Twitter - @marianne4373

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