What to expect when you’re expecting No.2

Helen Wall - 25 May 17

So you’re going to have your second child.  Congratulations!

Here’s 5 quick things you can expect to be different this time round.

1)      You got this

Remember how the first 6 weeks with No. 1 was the steepest learning curve you’d even gone through?  This time there’s a lot less drama.  Those expectations of a ‘Disney’ baby happily sleeping in their cot whilst you write your novel are long gone and now you’ll be dipping into your own personalised bag of tricks.

You’ll be going with what you know, not what others tell you and it makes it so much less stressful. You know all about feeding, what a normal nappy looks like and when you face that inevitable explosion of poo – its all in a day’s work.

All in, you’re confident you’re not psychologically damaging them and the likelihood of breaking them is pretty low.  You got this…

2)      Life admin quadruples.

The washing will morph into unsurmountable mountains. The machine will be on constantly but you will always have a stain on at least one item of your attire at all times.  It’s almost pointless bothering with draws as your children will be going through more changes a day than most catwalk models.

Meal times become a circus extravaganza as you balance baby, cajole eldest and watch your own food go cold. You may also use the same bowl for breakfast, lunch and dinner because it’s the only one they eat from – best to leave it on the table at all times and just rinse occasionally.

You stop inviting people over because all of the above leads to the word ‘tidy’ only being used in the past tense.   Your real friends are the ones who accept the drop in standards, only commenting occasionally that “it strengthens their immune system.”

3)      The baby groups lose their shine

The truth was you were learning those nursery rhymes alongside your eldest. You couldn’t remember which little piggy went to market or what the mouse did at 2 o’clock.   You’d get a wave of rosy nostalgia as you sang them at groups.  Now ‘Wheels on the Bus’ and ‘Twinkle Twinkle’ can do one.

You probably made some fantastic friends with No. 1 but it’s pretty hard to bond with a new mum as your eldest races past her precious newborn’s head – watch her face – she thinks her baby is never going to become that!  Remember you thought that too once…

You’ll go to groups for older kids and they’re great but earth shatteringly exhausting.   Ensuring minimal levels of health and safety for either one of your offspring means no sit down and those lengthy mum discussions become fragmented snippets whilst running interference.

4)      Downtime’s a yoga position you heard about once

When you think of sitting on the sofa, tepid drink in hand, as little one sleeps – stop –  it’s just a memory.  Referring back to point 2 here will remind you that there is no rest whether you’re wicked or not.  Even if miraculously you have completed or are ignoring every piece of life admin – guess who wants a drink?  Guess who wants a story? Guess who just wants some Mummy time…

5)      Your love and pride doubles

There’s a little shift inside you when you start referring to your ‘kids’.  Something lovely and squidgy swells inside and you can’t help but smile when referring to them as a collective.

Of course this is caveated when they start to gang up on you but it’s always there deep down.

Having more than one child doesn’t make you more of a mum but its ok to feel proud of the fact you’re managing to feed, clothe and occasionally keep clean two kids here!

A bit of support…

When I was on maternity leave the second time I found I wanted a little something more for me. I knew bubs was fine, I knew the nursery rhymes and I’d abandoned the life admin (still have…).  I thought wouldn’t it be wonderful to go to a group which is about me – supports me with the kids, but actually I get to sit down and expand my horizons.  That’s when I thought up BaB Courses.  They’re for the adults but support the children.  You learn a new skill, meet likeminded parents and still be with your children.  We’ve got some great classes lined up for the last term before summer and you should see our reviews.  Have a look:  https://www.bab-courses.co.uk/find-a-course

Helen Wall

I'm a mum to two rambunctious boys. Since I had my first in 2010 I've worked full time, part time, compressed hours, from home and freelance. You name it I've tried it and if you know the secret to 'balance' please share! I founded www.BaB-Courses.co.uk in 2017 as an opportunity for parents to access something for themselves without having to be separated from their children. We provided classes in everything from photography to mindfulness. Our aim is that you learn a new skill, meet likeminded parents and still be with your children. We're just starting out and would love to hear people's thoughts xxx

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