What to teach my daughter
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Like most of us I’ve been watching the events unfold in Orlando. Before I became a mum I would follow stories like this on the news, glued to the TV for hours watching the updates come in as if it were a horrifying real-life soap opera. I’m still glued to the TV but I feel the sadness for what’s happening on a deeper level somehow and it makes me think about what my daughter’s generation will experience in years to come, and the responsibility I have as a parent for influencing my small part in that wider picture.
It seems bizarre to me
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that we as humans should seek to try and eliminate other facets of human life; it feels a bit like a tree deciding to cut off some of its own branches because they don’t grow the same as others, not minding the fact that it actually needs all its branches to survive. I’ve thought about how I might explain to my two and a half year old daughter why the bad man killed all those people, when she’s old enough to ask of course, but I’m a bit lost for words.
It was whilst I was putting my daughter to bed tonight, as I gazed down at her peaceful
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face, that I thought of a much more valuable thing to explain. It strikes me that behind the hate is fear, specifically fear of the unknown. The LGBTQ community has been targeted this time, as it has sadly on many occasions before, presumably because for some it represents the unknown or worse ‘unnatural’. I read a great piece by Connor Doherty in the Huffpost today about ‘tolerance not being enough’, we have to be active in our acceptance and support. That’s what really got me thinking about how best to guide my daughter. As the
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author said, we need to “acknowledge that many of us played a role in shaping the culture needed for this type of crime to occur”.
So putting my mind on a more positive track I started having imaginary conversations with my daughter as she gets older about how I might shape her way of thinking to go beyond passive tolerance to active support for anyone in a minority group. A good starting point could be to try and remove the unknown and therefore the fear. It’s handy that kids are so inquisitive, really they’re handing us the opportunities
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we need to tell them all about the world through their endless questioning. I’m no expert at LGBTQ issues (I admit I had to look up what the Q meant), but I now feel a powerful motivation to get more informed. Its an amazing privilege to have the opportunity to grow tiny human beings, hate can never be allowed to win, and perhaps as humble parents we can help change the world from our own front rooms.
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Fiona Behl - 14 Jun 16
Like most of us I’ve been watching the events unfold in Orlando. Before I became a mum I would follow stories like this on the news, glued to the TV for hours watching the updates come in as if it were a horrifying real-life soap opera. I’m still glued to the TV but I feel the sadness for what’s happening on a deeper level somehow and it makes me think about what my daughter’s generation will experience in years to come, and the responsibility I have as a parent for influencing my small part in that wider picture.
It seems bizarre to me that we as humans should seek to try and eliminate other facets of human life; it feels a bit like a tree deciding to cut off some of its own branches because they don’t grow the same as others, not minding the fact that it actually needs all its branches to survive. I’ve thought about how I might explain to my two and a half year old daughter why the bad man killed all those people, when she’s old enough to ask of course, but I’m a bit lost for words.
It was whilst I was putting my daughter to bed tonight, as I gazed down at her peaceful face, that I thought of a much more valuable thing to explain. It strikes me that behind the hate is fear, specifically fear of the unknown. The LGBTQ community has been targeted this time, as it has sadly on many occasions before, presumably because for some it represents the unknown or worse ‘unnatural’. I read a great piece by Connor Doherty in the Huffpost today about ‘tolerance not being enough’, we have to be active in our acceptance and support. That’s what really got me thinking about how best to guide my daughter. As the author said, we need to “acknowledge that many of us played a role in shaping the culture needed for this type of crime to occur”.
So putting my mind on a more positive track I started having imaginary conversations with my daughter as she gets older about how I might shape her way of thinking to go beyond passive tolerance to active support for anyone in a minority group. A good starting point could be to try and remove the unknown and therefore the fear. It’s handy that kids are so inquisitive, really they’re handing us the opportunities we need to tell them all about the world through their endless questioning. I’m no expert at LGBTQ issues (I admit I had to look up what the Q meant), but I now feel a powerful motivation to get more informed. Its an amazing privilege to have the opportunity to grow tiny human beings, hate can never be allowed to win, and perhaps as humble parents we can help change the world from our own front rooms.
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I used to be a boring civil servant, now I'm mum to a 'sparky' 2 year old daughter and a novice blogger. On the side I enjoy large vodkas and riding on the back of my husband's cool motorcycle (although not necessarily at the same time!).