close
SM-Stamp-Join-1
  • Selfish Mother is the most brilliant blogging platform. Join here for free & you can post a blog within minutes. We don't edit or approve your words before they go live - it's up to you. And, with our cool new 'squares' design - you can share your blog to Instagram, too. What are you waiting for? Come join in! We can't wait to read what YOU have to say...

  • Your basic information

  • Your account information

View as: GRID LIST

What’s all this about people having to wee themselves?

1
An incredibly brave Paralympic athlete, Anne Wafula Strike, told this week of her unacceptable ordeal, having to wee herself on a train because there was no toilet she could use.  People have been truly shocked. And she is an awesome woman for talking about such a personal experience, that, as she said herself,  “completely robbed her of her dignity”.

What’s even sadder, is that Anne is not alone. This happens to lots of disabled people, every day. They are forced to wee themselves (and number 2s!), or lie on toilet floors to have their clothes

SelfishMother.com
2
removed and nappies changed and/or be dangerously lifted onto toilets without hoists. So many are forced to stay home completely, all because disabled toilets in this country (and many others) are nothing short of a disgrace.

And it’s not just a problem on public transport. Just the other day I had my heart ripped out in a McDonald’s toilet. (It happened to be McDs that day, but could have been any restaurant!) My little boy sobbed, “it’s all my fault” as my husband and I tried to clean him up and change his nappy, in what was one of the

SelfishMother.com
3
dirtiest, smallest and most ill-equipped accessible toilets I have ever had the misfortune to need to use. My son is disabled, he is a full time wheelchair user and he requires a bench and hoist in an accessible toilet. Sometimes he is able to ‘go’ on the toilet if we can safely transfer him and he’s having a good day. Other times his condition simply does not allow him to control his bladder and bowel and he has to ‘go’ in his nappy. Today was the latter. And of course, it leaked spectacularly.

We had decided to meet up with friends for a

SelfishMother.com
4
‘treat’ before going bowling, and the children chose McDonald’s. We don’t get to see our friends all that often and so we were all really looking forward to it. But a treat it was not.

Of course there was no adult changing bench or hoist in this horrible toilet. The floor was so disgusting that we tried to use the drop down baby changing unit to change my son, by supporting it underneath using our knees (fully aware that others need it to still be safe after we’ve used it!) and other parts of our bodies to lengthen it, all whilst grappling

SelfishMother.com
5
with clothes, wipes, creams etc. Whilst my son does not breach the weight limit for one of these, he is over twice as long as a baby changing table! Doing this, whilst wedging my poor son’s legs up against the door (preferable to his head!) and trying to console him seemed like the lesser of two evils – the other being lying him on that floor! We were all upset and at significant risk of injury.

Apart from the obvious discomfort my son had to go through having his nappy changed in this manner, what upset me even further is that just last month,

SelfishMother.com
6
McDonald’s received an award for having some of the best accessible toilets in England! Now I’m no architect or toilet designer, but I’m pretty sure the one I was in fell hugely beyond even the bare minimum standards! As an intended user of these toilets, I’m pretty outraged that McDonald’s believe that they are providing something so special when they are clearly excluding people!

My husband and I struggled to manage in this particular accessible toilet even without my son’s wheelchair. There was no way we could function in the space had

SelfishMother.com
7
we have taken it in. We had to carry our boy into the toilet together. In a few more months I doubt it will still be possible to carry him. And if we had not have been there with friends, we would have had to have squeezed Hadley’s twin sister and the wheelchair in there with us too. Obviously his twin sister is too young to be left alone in a restaurant by herself whilst we tend to her brother’s needs!

Had I been on my own that day I literally would not have coped. My son would have had to sit in his own mess and wet clothes until I could have

SelfishMother.com
8
gotten him home. Needless to say that would have meant abandoning our day out. But at times like these, I honestly wonder if staying home would be the better option. How depressing is that. To consider not taking your children out for fear of the toilets you’ll face!

So how are huge multi-billion pound businesses like McDonald’s getting away with providing such hideously poor facilities for their disabled customers? Facilities that do not deserve to use the word accessible, let alone win awards!? They do the absolute minimum and get rewarded for

SelfishMother.com
9
it! That makes me seriously bloody cross!

I would really like to meet the people who came up with these minimum standards. I’d like them to experience first hand what my son has to endure and see if they change their minds about what is acceptable. I’d like them to be wheelchair reliant and have the needs my child does and see if they can manage. I’d like to see how bloody happy they would be. Pretty sure they would be disgusted with themselves!

I was discussing this experience with a friend of mine. She has a son who is ten years old and

SelfishMother.com
10
uses a powered chair. He would also like to visit McDonald’s for a treat. But on my friend’s last trip to McDonald’s, they encountered an even smaller toilet than the one we battled with. He couldn’t even get in the toilet to wash his hands before his meal, let alone use the toilet. His powered chair simply would not fit!

This is not right! No, this is despicable! It’s 2017!!

I’m sure many of you have had similar experiences in McDonald’s and many other eateries and restaurants and would like to be able to enjoy a meal with family

SelfishMother.com
11
and friends without having to worry about needing the toilet. We are not after a discount or any special treatment, just simply a loo that we can use like everyone else. Nobody should be expected to hold it in when out enjoying a meal, surely? Are a couple of bits of equipment really too much to ask?

You can’t say, ’you can come and enjoy our lovely restaurant and food, but only if you can fit in our loo without any assistance or don’t mind peeing yourself!’ That would be unacceptable in this day and age. But essentially, that is what most

SelfishMother.com
12
places are saying, even if they don’t realise it.

I love my food, so does the rest of my family. We long for the day we can go out and eat at our favourite places (we have higher aspirations than McDonald’s!) without having to worry. Without my son having to wee himself or endure lying on a hideous toilet floor or being changed in view of others in the back of a car. We want to go out and spend our hard earned cash too. We want to eat as equals.

If you agree that disabled people have the right to dignity and to use the loo just like everyone

SelfishMother.com
13
else, please sign and share this petition.

Thanks for reading. x

SelfishMother.com

By

This blog was originally posted on SelfishMother.com - why not sign up & share what's on your mind, too?

Why not write for Selfish Mother, too? You can sign up for free and post immediately.


We regularly share posts on @SelfishMother Instagram and Facebook :)

- 3 Jan 17

An incredibly brave Paralympic athlete, Anne Wafula Strike, told this week of her unacceptable ordeal, having to wee herself on a train because there was no toilet she could use.  People have been truly shocked. And she is an awesome woman for talking about such a personal experience, that, as she said herself,  “completely robbed her of her dignity”.

What’s even sadder, is that Anne is not alone. This happens to lots of disabled people, every day. They are forced to wee themselves (and number 2s!), or lie on toilet floors to have their clothes removed and nappies changed and/or be dangerously lifted onto toilets without hoists. So many are forced to stay home completely, all because disabled toilets in this country (and many others) are nothing short of a disgrace.

And it’s not just a problem on public transport. Just the other day I had my heart ripped out in a McDonald’s toilet. (It happened to be McDs that day, but could have been any restaurant!) My little boy sobbed, “it’s all my fault” as my husband and I tried to clean him up and change his nappy, in what was one of the dirtiest, smallest and most ill-equipped accessible toilets I have ever had the misfortune to need to use. My son is disabled, he is a full time wheelchair user and he requires a bench and hoist in an accessible toilet. Sometimes he is able to ‘go’ on the toilet if we can safely transfer him and he’s having a good day. Other times his condition simply does not allow him to control his bladder and bowel and he has to ‘go’ in his nappy. Today was the latter. And of course, it leaked spectacularly.

We had decided to meet up with friends for a ‘treat’ before going bowling, and the children chose McDonald’s. We don’t get to see our friends all that often and so we were all really looking forward to it. But a treat it was not.

Of course there was no adult changing bench or hoist in this horrible toilet. The floor was so disgusting that we tried to use the drop down baby changing unit to change my son, by supporting it underneath using our knees (fully aware that others need it to still be safe after we’ve used it!) and other parts of our bodies to lengthen it, all whilst grappling with clothes, wipes, creams etc. Whilst my son does not breach the weight limit for one of these, he is over twice as long as a baby changing table! Doing this, whilst wedging my poor son’s legs up against the door (preferable to his head!) and trying to console him seemed like the lesser of two evils – the other being lying him on that floor! We were all upset and at significant risk of injury.

Apart from the obvious discomfort my son had to go through having his nappy changed in this manner, what upset me even further is that just last month, McDonald’s received an award for having some of the best accessible toilets in England! Now I’m no architect or toilet designer, but I’m pretty sure the one I was in fell hugely beyond even the bare minimum standards! As an intended user of these toilets, I’m pretty outraged that McDonald’s believe that they are providing something so special when they are clearly excluding people!

My husband and I struggled to manage in this particular accessible toilet even without my son’s wheelchair. There was no way we could function in the space had we have taken it in. We had to carry our boy into the toilet together. In a few more months I doubt it will still be possible to carry him. And if we had not have been there with friends, we would have had to have squeezed Hadley’s twin sister and the wheelchair in there with us too. Obviously his twin sister is too young to be left alone in a restaurant by herself whilst we tend to her brother’s needs!

Had I been on my own that day I literally would not have coped. My son would have had to sit in his own mess and wet clothes until I could have gotten him home. Needless to say that would have meant abandoning our day out. But at times like these, I honestly wonder if staying home would be the better option. How depressing is that. To consider not taking your children out for fear of the toilets you’ll face!

So how are huge multi-billion pound businesses like McDonald’s getting away with providing such hideously poor facilities for their disabled customers? Facilities that do not deserve to use the word accessible, let alone win awards!? They do the absolute minimum and get rewarded for it! That makes me seriously bloody cross!

I would really like to meet the people who came up with these minimum standards. I’d like them to experience first hand what my son has to endure and see if they change their minds about what is acceptable. I’d like them to be wheelchair reliant and have the needs my child does and see if they can manage. I’d like to see how bloody happy they would be. Pretty sure they would be disgusted with themselves!

I was discussing this experience with a friend of mine. She has a son who is ten years old and uses a powered chair. He would also like to visit McDonald’s for a treat. But on my friend’s last trip to McDonald’s, they encountered an even smaller toilet than the one we battled with. He couldn’t even get in the toilet to wash his hands before his meal, let alone use the toilet. His powered chair simply would not fit!

This is not right! No, this is despicable! It’s 2017!!

I’m sure many of you have had similar experiences in McDonald’s and many other eateries and restaurants and would like to be able to enjoy a meal with family and friends without having to worry about needing the toilet. We are not after a discount or any special treatment, just simply a loo that we can use like everyone else. Nobody should be expected to hold it in when out enjoying a meal, surely? Are a couple of bits of equipment really too much to ask?

You can’t say, ‘you can come and enjoy our lovely restaurant and food, but only if you can fit in our loo without any assistance or don’t mind peeing yourself!’ That would be unacceptable in this day and age. But essentially, that is what most places are saying, even if they don’t realise it.

I love my food, so does the rest of my family. We long for the day we can go out and eat at our favourite places (we have higher aspirations than McDonald’s!) without having to worry. Without my son having to wee himself or endure lying on a hideous toilet floor or being changed in view of others in the back of a car. We want to go out and spend our hard earned cash too. We want to eat as equals.

If you agree that disabled people have the right to dignity and to use the loo just like everyone else, please sign and share this petition.

Thanks for reading. x

Did you enjoy this post? If so please support the writer: like, share and comment!


Why not join the SM CLUB, too? You can share posts & events immediately. It's free!

My name is Sarah, I'm 37 years old. Mum to six year old twins, one who has special needs (Cerebral Palsy). As well as a mother, I'm a copywriter and campaigner for disabled rights. I love a good chat, a good bottle of wine and a good chocolate cake! Oh and of course, a good SM tee! xx

Post Tags


Keep up to date with Selfish Mother — Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on social media