What’s so good about routine anyway?

Oonagh O'Hagan - 25 Sep 15

Until recently my husband worked shifts. That is, night shifts, long days, random week days off, working every other weekend. Every day was different. I had one of those nifty organisers on the back of the kitchen door just to keep track of who I was making dinner for each night. While my husband ate his cornflakes at 6pm and my kids tucked into their tea (which they never actually eat), I made sandwiches for his midnight ‘lunch’. Other days I fed and bathed the kids ready for him to take them up to bed as soon as he came in from work. Some days I returned home from work at 6pm and he left for work at 6.30. When he started night class at tec two nights a week as well I led a pretty lonely life. So when he was offered a new position in work that meant working 9-5 Monday to Friday we were over the moon! His hard work had paid off, it would all be worth it. Finally, the Holy Grail of family life; ROUTINE!

Or so I thought…
What people don’t tell you is that routine is BORING. Having dinner at 5.30 every night and then spending two hours slowly wading towards bedtime, fighting small battles along the way: “Please eat just one bit of chicken and a couple of peas, No you can’t go to Nanny’s house, no you can’t read your library book in the bath, no you can’t have chocolate for supper, don’t feed your cheerios to the dog, get down off that windowsill and put those jammies on, please don’t put your toothbrush in your brothers ear, no mummy is not crying she just has something in her eye”.
After four years I have become accustomed to the mayhem that children bring. What I am not used to is doing the same things in the same order, EVERY SINGLE DAY. A trip to Tesco with my four year old after tea one evening was the most exciting thing that happened all week. Surely there is more to life than this?? The only thing that has really changed is that my husband is now there to observe all this, every night. Because let’s face it, even the best husbands in the world can see parenting as a spectator sport at times.
Yes Kids need routine, they thrive on it. They get to spend time with their dad every weekend now. We get to eat dinner as a family every night, something I always aspired to (how ambitious eh?). But let me grieve for the loss of unpredictability; for control of the remote in the evenings; for eating a family size chocolate bar and a large glass of wine without a judgmental glance; for being able to sleep starfish in my king size bed (until about 2am anyway when I have a least one child beside me).
Yes, Routine is boring. Well as boring as life can be with young children. Maybe a bit of boredom will do me no harm…

Oonagh O'Hagan

I am a 33 year old working mum to 2 young kids. I love my family and love my job and try to give my best to both (not always successfully). For many years I have battled with my mental health and while I don't want it to define me I have resolved to embrace it as part of me. While having children increased my levels of anxiety they have also given me a reason to enjoy life to the full. They make life worth living.

View profile for posts, events and more info