Are you Buying Happiness This Christmas?

charlieandtheboys - 10 Dec 18

Saturday morning and I was feeling frustrated and over-whelmed at being left with the 4 children on my own. I crave the weekends, they are my light at the end of the tunnel during the week when being mummy is a struggle and I’m lonely. But this weekend, Rich had some house DIY to do in the morning, and was playing rugby in the afternoon (he hadn’t played in a number of weeks).

By 10 am the little two were going crazy still cooped up at home so I chucked them in the double buggy (this makes it sound like a quick process it wasn’t lol) and along with my two big boys, we headed out to the park. I was feeling a little sorry for myself parenting solo on the weekend, the big two were a little grumpy bored, and the little two seemed wound up.

But you know what? We had the most wonderful morning. All we did was walk to the park and have a run around. But we laughed and we chatted; discussing which element each of us should have power over (you know the usual stuff lol!!) We collected sticks for the Christmas tree we are going to make. At the park the four of them ran around together playing. And I watched them filled up with happiness.

They were so happy, so free, just playing together and a thought hit me; their happiness is totally FREE.

Here we are in our consumerist society ahead of Christmas the ultimate (consumer) celebration where sadly the magic of Christmas for our children equates to the size of the pile of presents under the tree. But what’s the true cost of this? At this time of year as parents most of us are running around trying to find perfect presents for our children for Christmas. The inward debate raging between how much we should spend on them to show them they are loved and deserving, without overly spoiling them. I don’t believe stuff, things, wealth makes us truly happy as human beings.

As parents Rich and I are trying to bring up our children without the insatiable consumerist appetite which is so prevalent within our western society. That’s not bloody easy and I’m certainly not saying we have achieved it for ourselves or our children, it’s a constant battle.

Seeing those four beautiful little souls playing together this morning reminded me what our children truly need to be happy and it doesn’t include material things. So I am going to silence the internal war inside my head I always have at this time of year, stressing about what I should or shouldn’t get my children. I personally feel that a couple of presents to open on Christmas day is more than enough.

Of course, we can’t deny the society our children are growing up in, are influenced by and which dictates their norms and values along with that of their peers. The fear of your child waking up on Christmas morning and being disappointed with what they have under the tree is a very real one for many parents, myself included. But perhaps there are things we should fear more. I read an article in The Guardian this year which stated one in four adults will experience a mental illness at some point every year in the UK, and 75% of mental illnesses start in childhood. We are constantly sold the narrative that if we have this or that we will be happy. Bombarded with what equates to a successful, happy life which centres around wealth and the consumption of material goods. Our children are pushed down a path which tells them to work hard in order to succeed in the knowledge that their success will equate to happiness. What do we expect to happen when they realise it doesn’t?

I want my children to be happy, I want them to experience love, freedom, wonder, friendship, compassion and respect for the earth they are on and those they share it with. None of these things can be bought. I fear we are in danger of feeding our capitalist society at the expense of feeding our children’s souls. We trade so much for money, for what we can buy and as a result we teach our children that is the source of love and happiness, when it isn’t. Of course every parent has the right to decide how much they spend on their own child and I am not writing this to imply that buying your children material gifts at Christmas is a bad thing. I will be buying my children gifts. But I feel the pressure on parents at this time of year gets out of control, it’s unhealthy.

Here’s to making space for true happiness this Christmas.

Charlie xx

charlieandtheboys

Hi I'm Charlie my blog is about my life as a mum of 4, fuelled by tea. I hope that my blog allows other mums to know they are not alone in this journey. We are losing our sh*t together!!

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