When the jigsaw is complete

Taryn - 29 Mar 16

Whether or not we are having more children is something I am asked regularly. I guess with 3, four and under people assume we’ll add to our brood for good measure and my answer seems to surprise them.

No, we are not planning on having any more children.

Reaching this point is a strange and unfamiliar feeling and something I find quite hard to say.

I guess it’s a stage of my life that I am saying goodbye to and that I won’t revisit, something I’m moving on from. I’m not great at dealing with change, maybe that’s why it feels like quite a huge thing to me. It’s all that I’ve know for the last 4 years. I have felt quite sad packing away a just handful tiny baby grows into keepsake boxes yet at the same time relieved as the nearly new sale box fills up with the bits Miss Dot is quickly growing out of. Very soon baby bouncers, play gyms and baby toys will be added to the pile too. It’s the end of an era I suppose, something to let go of and the things are a physical representation of that. At the same time I feel so pleased to be able to clear the clutter and have happily passed things on, something I would never have been able to do before.

I feel sad that I will never have a baby bump again, or feel those magical kicks and even that I won’t give birth again. And there is something so lovely about having a baby, I have loved snuggling all 3 of mine and gazing at them for hours on end. However Miss Tibs and Miss Boo have already shown me that there are such exciting times ahead. Miss Dot is only 7 months old so I will savour the last of these lovely little baby days over the next year or so and prepare myself to move on.

There are many reasons we have decided our family is complete, some practical, some financial, some emotional. I very much feel like there is only so much of me to go round and that this regardless of the practical and financial aspects it is the best thing for me and my family, but most of all I feel complete. I really do.

Numerous people had said to me that that knew when they were finished having babies and until Miss Dot arrived I hadn’t felt it. In fact, the week after Miss Tibs was born I knew I’d like another one. When Miss Dot was placed on my chest seconds after being born I felt this overwhelming feeling of completeness and relief. And there it was, that feeling i had been told about – She was the final piece to our puzzle and no matter how big they grow and how old they get, they will always be my babies.

Me x

Taryn

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