Where Has Our Basic Manners and Courtesy Gone To?

Poh Ern Si Penang - 22 Jan 22

Just a few days back, we had a long lost Buddhist devotee visiting our humble temple premise of Poh Ern Si Penang. She was in her fifties with her own business as a florist, and the only reason she ever decided to pay us a visit was to give some donations whenever she felt up to it.

She stopped her car in the middle of the road and sauntered to our gates. Our jaws dropped – why is this lady blocking the path like it’s an okay thing to do?

“Just for a moment, it’s going to be fine.” Or so she said.

But when she’s leaving, suddenly her car engine couldn’t start, so what was just a for-a-moment-parking turned out to be a two-hour inconvenience, not only to us but also to the pedestrians who couldn’t access the road and had to use another longer route.

This is just one of the few encounters we have that clearly demonstrates the lack of basic manners and simple courtesy that we once would have thought to be common, but well, seems like common sense isn’t common after all.

Sadly, this isn’t just happening to the Buddhist community alone – in fact, many people in this world, regardless of race, faith or creed, tend to display similar if not, the same, kind of inconsideration. Worse, they think they are right – that it was just the timing bad things happen, that they aren’t at fault whatsoever, not caring that if they had been considerate for a moment, they wouldn’t have had to drag many others down to whatever inconvenience they had created out of their selfishness. 

But Why Is This Happening?

We have always emphasized the fact that education begins at home, and this statement is truer than ever. Clearly, a person’s manners and character stems from his or her brought-up and the exposures and experiences gained, which is lacking in that dear lady’s case. 

A person who has a good upbringing will remain considerate of their actions, good manners and courtesy included. And when we say good upbringing, we do not mean having a rich and easy life – what we mean here is being well educated in terms of moral virtues. 

Unfortunately, as the world advances, our mentality downgrades instead. We used to know it’s common courtesy to give your seat to the elderly, to throw rubbish only into trash cans, to ask permission before you take other people’s things, to make sure you park your car at designated spots that would not block other people’s way. Seems like the later generations didn’t get the memo, and from our sad observations, it only gets worse year by year, generation by generation.

The Need For Good Parenting

As we mentioned earlier, it all goes down to good upbringing – parents play a huge role here. It’s not just a matter of providing a good, comfortable life to your kids – it is extremely important to provide solid informal education to them, something that we cannot stress enough.

Teach your kids the value of morality, because a man’s true worth is not valued by how much material wealth he has accumulated, but the virtues he possesses within.

Teach your kids the meaning of empathy and respect others, because you are not the only one living in this world.

Teach your kids to be generous and selfless, because pure selfishness will only bring upon misery in the long run. 

Teach your kids to count their blessings and have gratitude, this way they will learn to be thankful and not simply take things for granted.

There is obviously more to just what we listed above, but that’s a good start. Regardless of the parenting styles you decide to apply on your children, put in some effort to inculcate this basic instinct and knowledge of humanity.

Final Thoughts

Alas, we can only lament as at the end of the day, we could only bring some form of awareness through writing and ranting. It takes time to educate the public, especially parents or parents-to-be, but we could only hope our society does not get any less humane but instead, improve their mental culture alongside technological advancement.

Poh Ern Si Penang

We are Poh Ern Si Penang, the most truthful and down-to-earth blog about Buddhism. From parenting to spirituality, we talk about ways and tips to help you improve your personal development towards better quality of life. Check out our blog at Pohernsi.com.

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