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Who Doesn’t Like Surprises?

1
My second child was born by elective caesarean. That meant we knew the birth date in advance. We even changed our lotto numbers the week before to include the new family birthdate. We still didn’t win.
We were winners in the lottery of life however. The second baby was of course, as wonderful as the first. And we got a huge surprise on the day – our baby’s gender.
When our son had been born, three years previously our midwifery team weren’t telling future parents their baby’s  gender. And we didn’t want to know. He was a wonderful surprise
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in all respects and continues to delight us to this day.
In the coming three years, things seemed to change. Sonographers were permitted to reveal a baby’s gender and everyone it seems, wanted to know. Suddenly, revealing your unborn child’s gender to your family and friends has become an industry in itself. I’m thinking of gender-reveal cakes, cards and parties. And then there are the nurseries decorated in pink or blue before the little one’s arrival; new-borns no longer need to be dressed in gender neutral white.
I don’t want to cast
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aspersions on anyone’s parenting choices. What I want to do is let them know that finding out your baby’s gender on delivery day is FUN. Definitely a lot more fun than buying colour-coded stuff for them beforehand.
And maybe it’s just me, but every time I hear of someone finding out their baby’s sex, I think about gender-based abortions. I’m talking about the sex-selection terminations that still happen in their thousands in parts of India and China of course, not about avoiding horrendous genetic disorders.
In this country we thankfully
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4
value a girl’s and a boy’s birth equally. Getting excited about buying a pink pram or blue wallpaper is fine. Having a baby that’s healthy and well-loved is what’s really important.
Post Script: My second child- a girl, arrived safely and in fine health. She left hospital a couple of days later in her brother’s blue cast-offs and confused everybody. Horrified family members quickly bought her some pink things.
Image – https://stocksnap.io/photo/MKMTLN5JHN
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- 5 Feb 17

My second child was born by elective caesarean. That meant we knew the birth date in advance. We even changed our lotto numbers the week before to include the new family birthdate. We still didn’t win.
We were winners in the lottery of life however. The second baby was of course, as wonderful as the first. And we got a huge surprise on the day – our baby’s gender.
When our son had been born, three years previously our midwifery team weren’t telling future parents their baby’s  gender. And we didn’t want to know. He was a wonderful surprise in all respects and continues to delight us to this day.
In the coming three years, things seemed to change. Sonographers were permitted to reveal a baby’s gender and everyone it seems, wanted to know. Suddenly, revealing your unborn child’s gender to your family and friends has become an industry in itself. I’m thinking of gender-reveal cakes, cards and parties. And then there are the nurseries decorated in pink or blue before the little one’s arrival; new-borns no longer need to be dressed in gender neutral white.
I don’t want to cast aspersions on anyone’s parenting choices. What I want to do is let them know that finding out your baby’s gender on delivery day is FUN. Definitely a lot more fun than buying colour-coded stuff for them beforehand.
And maybe it’s just me, but every time I hear of someone finding out their baby’s sex, I think about gender-based abortions. I’m talking about the sex-selection terminations that still happen in their thousands in parts of India and China of course, not about avoiding horrendous genetic disorders.
In this country we thankfully value a girl’s and a boy’s birth equally. Getting excited about buying a pink pram or blue wallpaper is fine. Having a baby that’s healthy and well-loved is what’s really important.
Post Script: My second child- a girl, arrived safely and in fine health. She left hospital a couple of days later in her brother’s blue cast-offs and confused everybody. Horrified family members quickly bought her some pink things.
Image – https://stocksnap.io/photo/MKMTLN5JHN

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A mother, teacher, teacher trainer, trade unionist, and beachcomber. I'm mother to Martha, eleven and Hugo, fourteen. I teach children to enjoy French and teach teachers to stress less and enjoy life more. When I'm not doing those things I enjoy running, yoga, reading and writing.

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