Why Am I in this Hormonal Hell?

Gemma Barry - 23 Apr 17

Every single damn month without fail: cramping, bloating, sore boobs, weeping, wanting to poke eyes out with spoons, white hot irrational rage followed by plummeting into barely being able to pick up my cup of tea, craving anything packed with sugar… taking a quick breath above the water before around we go again on the purgatory period (not even remotely) merry-go-round.

The sympathetic members of your family will ask: what the bloody hell is the matter with you? To which you scream or wail (depending where you are at): I don’t fucking know, I just feel unsupported/overwhelmed/nobody does anything in this sodding house/I hate my boss shit fit.

Everything hurts. Your belly, back, legs. Your boobs are so sensitive your bra feels like glass and you need your stretchy clothes. Where the fuck are they?! Everything needs to be black in case you leak out; you delve to the bottom of your underwear draw for your undesirables.

Chocolate might be thrown through the door at you whilst folk back away quietly. You start to think that you are going mad, looking for signs that you have had a stroke, thinking maybe I should do more Sudoku? While tucking into chocolate like your life depended on it, you start beating yourself up because you look and feel the size of a house. You’re spotty, fat, repulsive, and feel sweaty. You start to cry again.

Why can’t I just be fucking normal like everyone else?!?!?!

Obviously you are crashed on the sofa at this point, watching TV, when a sanitary advert comes on with slim, fresh-faced girls wearing white jeans and roller blading along the beachfront. My period doesn’t stop me doing anything, they trill.

Kill me now….

Does this sound familiar to you at all?

This circus is frustratingly seen as the normality of being a woman.

Pain, mood swings and low energy?

What if I told you that there was another way? That it didn’t have to be like this every month? That with the right support and knowledge you could actually be a fully functioning woman of the human race, and in the driving seat of your cycle?

I get it. I really do. Period? Yuk! Who wants to talk about them? They are the bane of most women’s lives, and most would rather they never darkened their door red ever again. But here’s the thing, they are part of us, and when you get to know your period she’s actually alright. Come on, hear me out, and give us both a chance of piquing your curiosity about finding alternative solutions to your monthly madness.

Pain – this is nature’s way of making you STOP. Think about it – you twist your ankle, you can’t walk on that bitch for quite some time; until it’s healed some might say. Your period pains/ menstrual cramps/ torturous gremlins of the womb are attempting to slow you down, to make you rest, to stop powering-through like road runner. I’m not saying you have to book a week off work every month (but by all means do it if you can!), just factor in some jobs that take no brain power during your bleed, and don’t require you to travel miles either.

Mood swings – massive mood tsunamis are telling you that your hormones are out of whack, and are also another way of telling you to slow down. To just give yourself some space, to have a think about what it is you need to support yourself through this menstrual apocalypse. Your hormones swing about a bit and that is all fine and dandy, but if you are exhausted already going into your bleed, well hello, you are totally riding shotgun to flow.

Low Energy – so during each bleed we are getting information from a couple months back along the way. If we are stretching ourselves like the mother from The Incredibles – and show me any women who doesn’t spread herself wafer thin – then we are quite frankly asking for trouble. See point 1 and 2 here, because these bad boys are all connected. You know what I’m going to say here don’t you? Stop. Look. Listen to your body before preceding any further.

These 3 symptoms are not ‘normal’ symptoms of a period. They are your body’s way of telling you that something isn’t right. In fact I would bet my life savings it’s practically screaming at you to shut up, sit down, and be told a thing or two.

I was this woman. Sometimes she appears again if I have been pushing myself too hard. It’s a gentle reminder that I need to have a tinker with my work-life balance.

How many times do we hear women say I need this and that and no one is listening? To be offered help and then say: oh I can’t because I need to do X Y and Z, for everyone else, before she gets what she needs.

How to get yourself back in the driving seat of your hormones?

1. Chart your cycle – every day. After 2 to 3 months you will see a pattern forming of your highs and lows. Areas you need to tend to, and areas you know you are on fire.
2. Slow down – especially during your bleed. The womb doubles in weight when we are bleeding. She really appreciates hot water bottles, feet-up-in-front-of-the-sofa kinda evenings. I know we are all super busy, but I know you can factor in some down time. It’s for your – and everyone else’s – benefit that it gets accommodated for. I promise it will make a difference.
3. Reduce your sugar intake. Sweet stuff is like fecking drugs around your period. I know… who wants a banana when there is a star bar to be had? We all know the trade-off with sugar though – the highs followed by the lows. We all need more energy during our period for sure, but good quality food goes a really long way to helping the energy levels stay moderate. Plus good quality chocolate! Get the best there is, dark choc is medicinal
4. Get organised. Make more food than you need during your on-fire time and enjoy take outs from the freezer when you can’t be arsed so much to cook from scratch.

It sounds ridiculous, I know. I thought the same myself, I was totally at my wits end with it all, and I knew I needed a change. I had nothing to lose – so I went for it. I’m pleased to report that I don’t have pain with my cycle now. I have mood fluctuations that I can observe and think, hmmmm, I reckon I need to do this to support myself today. My body, my mind, and my husband have thanked me for the attention I have put in to myself.

Gemma Barry

I am a former nurse who saved her womb by understanding more about her own mind and body health. I am now a Well Woman Specialist teaching and inspiring women to lead happier connected lives.

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