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View as: GRID LIST

WHY BEING ‘THE OTHER WOMAN’ ROCKS

1
Seven years ago my younger sister gave birth to her first child. From that day on my life changed and I assumed my new role: ‘aunty.’

I was 31 and had just returned from a three month ‘career break’ which largely involved lying on a beach in Mexico pretending to be 21. Evie’s arrival suddenly brought with it huge responsibility and I became, aside from my sister, ‘the other woman’ in this little person’s life.

Not having any children of my own at the time, becoming the other woman was the best thing that happened to me. I was

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someone who looked a bit like, and sounded rather like, her mother but without a parental agenda. As she grew, I realised the responsibilities, though different, were endless and had to be taken very seriously.

My primary aims as a new aunty were to:

+ Spoil her – with endless gifts and inappropriate treats.
+ Indulge her – by playing hairdressers, dolls and mummies (we had to draw the line at her attempts to dress me in a nappy).
+ Never, ever, tell her off – not always useful.
+ Provide constant entertainment – in the form of dances,

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stories or days out.

To be fair, most uncles I know also profess the same thing. Your status gives you carte blanche to break all the rules and routines – enjoying children without the headache of planning what’s for tea, or wondering whether they’ve cleaned their teeth.

Growing up, I was lucky to have my own aunts who provided entertainment and had a huge influence on me. My late aunty Anna was an artist and some of my happiest memories are of us sitting in her cottage garden painting or making misshapen bowls on a pottery wheel. I remember

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4
her waking us up in the middle of the night so that she could show us all a family of owls nesting in a tree. My sister, cousin Kate and I all lay on the grass in silence in the dark, binoculars poised, for what seemed like hours watching these lovely creatures.

Of course, it’s not just about blood relations, I am an honorary aunt to a brood of small people. I noticed recently a friend referring to her best mate’s children on Facebook as ’ours’ and another friend calling herself their ’aunty.’ I love the fact that my friend Claire also has

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’aunty’ status with my children, they adore her – she brings them magazines, sweets, and most importantly plays hide and seek with them. In return, they have elevated her to aunt level which subconciously means they rate her pretty highly amongst mummy’s friends.

For me, to enjoy relationships with other people’s children is an honour and a pleasure. Likewise, it’s important to me to nurture my children’s relationships with other women. Now that I’m finally a mother myself, it makes me smile when my children’s ‘other women’ arrive with

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large, mostly noisy, presents, or a ton of sweets they know I wouldn’t buy for them. I’ve now become the the bad cop I I never thought I would be and have passed the mantle of fun on to my friends, sister and sister-in-laws.

 

Motherhood is different for all of us… if you’d like to share your thoughts, why not join our Network & start posting?

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- 6 Apr 15

Seven years ago my younger sister gave birth to her first child. From that day on my life changed and I assumed my new role: ‘aunty.’

I was 31 and had just returned from a three month ‘career break’ which largely involved lying on a beach in Mexico pretending to be 21. Evie’s arrival suddenly brought with it huge responsibility and I became, aside from my sister, ‘the other woman’ in this little person’s life.

Not having any children of my own at the time, becoming the other woman was the best thing that happened to me. I was someone who looked a bit like, and sounded rather like, her mother but without a parental agenda. As she grew, I realised the responsibilities, though different, were endless and had to be taken very seriously.

My primary aims as a new aunty were to:

+ Spoil her – with endless gifts and inappropriate treats.
+ Indulge her – by playing hairdressers, dolls and mummies (we had to draw the line at her attempts to dress me in a nappy).
+ Never, ever, tell her off – not always useful.
+ Provide constant entertainment – in the form of dances, stories or days out.

To be fair, most uncles I know also profess the same thing. Your status gives you carte blanche to break all the rules and routines – enjoying children without the headache of planning what’s for tea, or wondering whether they’ve cleaned their teeth.

Growing up, I was lucky to have my own aunts who provided entertainment and had a huge influence on me. My late aunty Anna was an artist and some of my happiest memories are of us sitting in her cottage garden painting or making misshapen bowls on a pottery wheel. I remember her waking us up in the middle of the night so that she could show us all a family of owls nesting in a tree. My sister, cousin Kate and I all lay on the grass in silence in the dark, binoculars poised, for what seemed like hours watching these lovely creatures.

Of course, it’s not just about blood relations, I am an honorary aunt to a brood of small people. I noticed recently a friend referring to her best mate’s children on Facebook as ‘ours’ and another friend calling herself their ‘aunty.’ I love the fact that my friend Claire also has ‘aunty’ status with my children, they adore her – she brings them magazines, sweets, and most importantly plays hide and seek with them. In return, they have elevated her to aunt level which subconciously means they rate her pretty highly amongst mummy’s friends.

For me, to enjoy relationships with other people’s children is an honour and a pleasure. Likewise, it’s important to me to nurture my children’s relationships with other women. Now that I’m finally a mother myself, it makes me smile when my children’s ‘other women’ arrive with large, mostly noisy, presents, or a ton of sweets they know I wouldn’t buy for them. I’ve now become the the bad cop I I never thought I would be and have passed the mantle of fun on to my friends, sister and sister-in-laws.

 

Motherhood is different for all of us… if you’d like to share your thoughts, why not join our Network & start posting?

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Emma lives in Surrey and is mum to 4 year old aspiring princess and 2 year old handbag-wearing boy. When she's not running around after them, or buried under a mountain of washing, Emma is a freelance PR manager.

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