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View as: GRID LIST

Why I Need My Single Friends

1
Now don’t get me wrong, my Mum friends are outstanding. They are always there with coffee and a caring smile as you describe your most recent baby-related disaster, they understand the true meaning of the word tired, and lets be honest – they just get it. My life would be less without them. My life would also be less, however, without another group of friends – the single ones. These guys are irreplaceable, and here is why…
– The Novelty Factor. To friends without children, your baby still has that novelty factor. They think it’s adorable to watch
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them do the actions to ’Row your Boat’ five times in a row because they haven’t been doing it on the hour every hour all day long. They haven’t yet got so sick of the flashing, singing toy car that they are constantly hiding it at the very bottom of the toy box where they hope it will never be found again. Put simply, they have the energy to entertain a small person when you really don’t.

– Conversation. Whilst all Mums love to talk about their children it is nice to occasionally be reminded that other things in the world exist. This is where

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your single friends come in. They do interesting things with their lives. They have fascinating jobs, they go on dates, they engage in politics and leadership, they go to new bars and restaurants, they have fabulous, fancy holidays and see the world. Then, they tell you about it and you can listen to something other than CBeebies and care about something bigger than your little bubble. You may not have the time or logistic ability to do these things yourself but through these guys, you can do it all vicariously – and for the moment, that’s good enough
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for me.

– Your Child is Their Favourite. Now, granted, the reason your child is their favourite is they don’t really know any others. Let’s be honest there are probably hundreds of cuter, more intelligent and funnier children than yours but your single friends haven’t met those ones yet. Your mum friends like your child too but they have met loads of kids (including their own and they really like them) and some of those are going to be more adorable than yours. In your single friends eyes, however, you have achieved a massive unfathomable feat in

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simply raising a child who can wave on command. For a confidence boost – it’s these guys you need to call.

– Evening Friends. During the day it’s your Mum friends who you rely on. They make the day about more than just naps and mealtimes. However, then comes the evening. After 6pm parents become entirely housebound. For your single, working friends however, evening time is prime time. They can be easily persuaded by food, wine and a ’lovely family meal time’ (little do they know this is 30 minutes of trying and failing to stop baked beans being

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thrown on the floor) and hey presto – your evening consists of more than just two tired parents crashed out in front of Netflix.

– They Go Out. Often these wonderful, care-free people will spend their weekend evenings in bars, restaurants, cinemas and other exciting places that you can only remember as part of a distant, past life. Sometimes they will invite you to come with them and occasionally you have the energy to accept. Then you leave the house baby free, you wear clothes not covered in dribble or snot, and you sip cocktails and pretend to be a

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grown up with a life of your own for an evening. This feels amazing – friends, we are so grateful that you remember to invite us because, on the odd occasion we do accept, it is flipping fantastic.

So to all my single friends – I do really hope that one day (if you want to) you will have the joy of a family and children. In the meantime, though, please don’t underestimate your worth. Trust me, we need you.

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- 12 Oct 17

Now don’t get me wrong, my Mum friends are outstanding. They are always there with coffee and a caring smile as you describe your most recent baby-related disaster, they understand the true meaning of the word tired, and lets be honest – they just get it. My life would be less without them. My life would also be less, however, without another group of friends – the single ones. These guys are irreplaceable, and here is why…

– The Novelty Factor. To friends without children, your baby still has that novelty factor. They think it’s adorable to watch them do the actions to ‘Row your Boat’ five times in a row because they haven’t been doing it on the hour every hour all day long. They haven’t yet got so sick of the flashing, singing toy car that they are constantly hiding it at the very bottom of the toy box where they hope it will never be found again. Put simply, they have the energy to entertain a small person when you really don’t.

– Conversation. Whilst all Mums love to talk about their children it is nice to occasionally be reminded that other things in the world exist. This is where your single friends come in. They do interesting things with their lives. They have fascinating jobs, they go on dates, they engage in politics and leadership, they go to new bars and restaurants, they have fabulous, fancy holidays and see the world. Then, they tell you about it and you can listen to something other than CBeebies and care about something bigger than your little bubble. You may not have the time or logistic ability to do these things yourself but through these guys, you can do it all vicariously – and for the moment, that’s good enough for me.

– Your Child is Their Favourite. Now, granted, the reason your child is their favourite is they don’t really know any others. Let’s be honest there are probably hundreds of cuter, more intelligent and funnier children than yours but your single friends haven’t met those ones yet. Your mum friends like your child too but they have met loads of kids (including their own and they really like them) and some of those are going to be more adorable than yours. In your single friends eyes, however, you have achieved a massive unfathomable feat in simply raising a child who can wave on command. For a confidence boost – it’s these guys you need to call.

– Evening Friends. During the day it’s your Mum friends who you rely on. They make the day about more than just naps and mealtimes. However, then comes the evening. After 6pm parents become entirely housebound. For your single, working friends however, evening time is prime time. They can be easily persuaded by food, wine and a ‘lovely family meal time’ (little do they know this is 30 minutes of trying and failing to stop baked beans being thrown on the floor) and hey presto – your evening consists of more than just two tired parents crashed out in front of Netflix.

– They Go Out. Often these wonderful, care-free people will spend their weekend evenings in bars, restaurants, cinemas and other exciting places that you can only remember as part of a distant, past life. Sometimes they will invite you to come with them and occasionally you have the energy to accept. Then you leave the house baby free, you wear clothes not covered in dribble or snot, and you sip cocktails and pretend to be a grown up with a life of your own for an evening. This feels amazing – friends, we are so grateful that you remember to invite us because, on the odd occasion we do accept, it is flipping fantastic.

So to all my single friends – I do really hope that one day (if you want to) you will have the joy of a family and children. In the meantime, though, please don’t underestimate your worth. Trust me, we need you.

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I’m a midwife, mum of two and recent expat. I love blogging and writing lists about life, parenthood and everything in between. Some are on here but loads more are at greatmindsmakelists.worspress.com or you can find me on Facebook or Instagram.

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