Why I’ve stopped sweating the small stuff

Gemma Christie - 24 Aug 15

Pretty regularly I’ll experience a wave of panic that life is passing by so very quickly and I’m not making the most of it. The most recent one of these waves was this evening while I was out running (read post natal plodding) and this time rather than try and push it into a very small compartment in my mind somewhere I’ve decided it’s time to tackle it head on, or at least try to.

Last year I turned 30, this isn’t a post about me ageing, that I’m cool with and actually embrace as being nearly 31 is way better than being nearly 21 for so many reasons. But what keeps me awake at night is worrying that I’ll get to nearly 41 and still not have done the things I keep saying I’d like to do, not to have really valued and appreciated my life and to have regrets. I also worry constantly that life is so busy that we are all so focused on where we think we need to be and what comes next that we forget to take stock and appreciate everyone and everything that we have in that very moment as we take it for granted and expect it to last forever.

The thought that the two little boys I tuck into bed each night are going to grow into teenagers and not slip their little hands into mine or come running when they fall or give me the biggest cuddles they possibly can scares me shitless, as does the thought that over the years I may forget some of these magical times we spend together as life naturally moves on.

I thought I’d start by listing some of my regrets as I don’t want these to follow me into my 30s:

• Being plagued with insecurity over silly things including…
  – What I look like. I look back at pictures now of me in my 20s and all I can see is a happy person who looks alright enjoying life.
  – How much I weigh, again looking at pictures I can’t for the life of me figure out what I was ever worried about.
  – What people think of me. My 20s was a steep learning curve and I had to learn to have a thick skin.
• Inadvertently upsetting people by the things I said and did. I tend to be quite opinionated and honest, more so in my early 20s and I’m more aware of it now but I will often still make mistakes here.
• Letting some friendships wane that I wish I hadn’t.
• Not acting on ideas. I had an idea for a website very similar to Etsy (before the days of Etsy) when I was in my very early twenties but didn’t have the balls/self-confidence to follow it through.
• Taking life too seriously. I am a serious, quite straight-laced person and although I am way more chilled out than I ever have been I still quite often need to take a chill pill. It’s just the way I’m made.
• Continuing with things I didn’t enjoy doing, like a job that lasted several years.

I believe there has to be a time where you give yourself a break and rather than worry about something that happened years ago and continue to beat yourself up about it you need to accept it as part of your past, a part that you learnt from and move on. For me this is now.

If I was given the option of freezing time right here, right now for a year I would take it without hesitation. In fact, I’d pay for it, perhaps even give one of my toes for it as I’d like a year where nothing changed, my boys didn’t get any older, everyone I love remained healthy and not a day older, and a year where I didn’t have to think seriously about moving from where we currently live. For me time is passing by just too quickly at the moment, it feels like yesterday that we told James he was going to be a big brother and now he has a little brother who is nearly 4 months old and I cannot fathom where that time has gone. Even James said he’d like to shrink Chester back to being a tiny newborn after watching a video of him earlier this week.

As I can’t freeze time (damn it) my only option seems to be to embrace it and that for me means doing the following:

• Focus on all the wonderful people and experiences I have in my life, and there really are a lot of these.
• Stop worrying about things I can’t change.
• Act on things, make things happen, don’t let my insecurities hold me back.
• Take stock every single day of what makes me happy and even writing it down, taking more videos and photos and keeping these memories somewhere safe.…

And most of all stop sweating the small stuff!!! Life is just too short.

Gemma Christie

Daily Butterfly was set up by me, Gemma Christie, a digital geek and lover of all things original and handmade. My site is a collection of the coolest and most unique lifestyle info, things I like to share and chat about with my friends. Featuring the best across health & fitness, style & beauty, home, work, leisure, travel, weddings, motherhood and entertainment. The Daily Butterfly aims to provide readers with access to practical tips, advice, recipes, how to guides, articles and reviews to enhance your daily lives.

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