‘It’s none of your business if they don’t like gherkins’
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If I’ve learnt one thing from this motherhood thang, it’s to ignore other people’s advice.
Just because your sister’s-friend’s-hairdresser’s-cousin’s-dog walker’s-mother’s-child likes to listen to whale music whilst simultaneously being rocked in a hammock and bounced on a pogo stick, doesn’t mean it’ll encourage my baby to sleep through the night too.
’Don’t pick up the baby when she cries, she will get used to it and become clingy!’
Whilst I encourage all mamas to do what works well for their own family, I also understand that
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certain tried and tested techniques do work for some and word of mouth is a great tool of promotion.
But only when it is welcome.
Recently I was in my local supermarket when an elderly woman grabbed hold of my arm and gently whispered: ”He’s lovely but you really ought to take his coat off inside the shop, it’s very warm.”
I respond with a generic nod and smile and didn’t bother correcting her that my daughters temperature was just fine, thank you Maureen, but this did get me thinking about other walks of life in which such judgements would
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be classified as ’acceptable’. (It was a short study and my findings concluded that there were none).
Would you walk over to someone eating their meal in a restaurant and inform them that they’re not eating their burger correctly? Or stop someone on the street to tell them that, whilst their new Nike trainers are lovely, they ought to be careful not to wear them too often as they’ll get too used to that level of comfort?
No.
No you wouldn’t.
Because it’s none of your business if they don’t like gherkins or prefer to choose a more
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cushioned sole.
As a new mother I feel judged for every decision I make and constantly feel undermined by others who feel that my experiences should mirror their own. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, (that is a fact of life), but unless I am still rocking Winnie to sleep at the tender age of 28 your opinions on certain subjects are invalid.
If you want to breastfeed your five year old, you do it mama. If you want to co-sleep with your entire family, you do it mama. If you want to name your baby after a Simpsons character, you bloomin’ well
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do it mama.
Be bold with your abilities, be confident with your choices, be kind and accepting of their experiences and remember to explain rather than justify yourself when met with criticism.
You’ve got courage, you’ve got strength, you’ve got knowledge, you’ve got your own life to live…
(And you’ve got many rods in your back to use as a weapon should you need one, right?).
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Stephanie Whittington - 17 Mar 16
If I’ve learnt one thing from this motherhood thang, it’s to ignore other people’s advice.
Just because your sister’s-friend’s-hairdresser’s-cousin’s-dog walker’s-mother’s-child likes to listen to whale music whilst simultaneously being rocked in a hammock and bounced on a pogo stick, doesn’t mean it’ll encourage my baby to sleep through the night too.
‘Don’t pick up the baby when she cries, she will get used to it and become clingy!’
Whilst I encourage all mamas to do what works well for their own family, I also understand that certain tried and tested techniques do work for some and word of mouth is a great tool of promotion.
But only when it is welcome.
Recently I was in my local supermarket when an elderly woman grabbed hold of my arm and gently whispered: “He’s lovely but you really ought to take his coat off inside the shop, it’s very warm.”
I respond with a generic nod and smile and didn’t bother correcting her that my daughters temperature was just fine, thank you Maureen, but this did get me thinking about other walks of life in which such judgements would be classified as ‘acceptable’. (It was a short study and my findings concluded that there were none).
Would you walk over to someone eating their meal in a restaurant and inform them that they’re not eating their burger correctly? Or stop someone on the street to tell them that, whilst their new Nike trainers are lovely, they ought to be careful not to wear them too often as they’ll get too used to that level of comfort?
No.
No you wouldn’t.
Because it’s none of your business if they don’t like gherkins or prefer to choose a more cushioned sole.
As a new mother I feel judged for every decision I make and constantly feel undermined by others who feel that my experiences should mirror their own. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, (that is a fact of life), but unless I am still rocking Winnie to sleep at the tender age of 28 your opinions on certain subjects are invalid.
If you want to breastfeed your five year old, you do it mama. If you want to co-sleep with your entire family, you do it mama. If you want to name your baby after a Simpsons character, you bloomin’ well do it mama.
Be bold with your abilities, be confident with your choices, be kind and accepting of their experiences and remember to explain rather than justify yourself when met with criticism.
You’ve got courage, you’ve got strength, you’ve got knowledge, you’ve got your own life to live…
(And you’ve got many rods in your back to use as a weapon should you need one, right?).
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