FINDING MY VOICE

Catherine - 8 Oct 14

Slightly sweaty palms? Shaky hands? Dry mouth? Nervous laughter? No, it wasn’t a first date, or even a job interview. It was being asked to speak up. In public. In front of other people. Who might listen to what I was saying. It was ridiculous – I was doing a proper job, perfectly experienced, knew my subject matter, but somehow I never had the confidence to get my points across in an interesting, memorable or creative way.

Or so I thought. I worried becoming a mum might make this worse – I’d have nothing to talk about apart from what type of nappies I was using or how little sleep I’d had, and would be a rambling incoherent mess. Yet at the same time as I became a mum, I discovered I did have the ability to speak up, and tell my stories, and what’s more – people were interested.

How? After returning from maternity leave, my manager gave me a leaflet at work and said ‘This looks like your kind of thing’. It was about a new club which had started at work, a corporate Toastmasters Club, to help colleagues develop and practice their speaking and leadership skills. Intrigued, I went along to my first meeting.

4 years on, and a second daughter, I’m still going to meetings. In fact I enjoy it so much, that while I was on maternity leave, I joined a community club which met in the evening, so I didn’t miss out. I’ve even been known to find clubs to visit while on holiday.

What is it about this club, and the skills I’ve learnt, that have benefitted me, not only professionally, but as a mother and wife? I’ve gained confidence, in work and social situations, formal and informal. I can speak coherently and concisely, whether that’s in front of a small group or 150 people.

I understand how to organise my thoughts. I’ve learnt how to use creative language, and construct a memorable story (based on emotion, or on facts, or imagination). I know how to listen, and to provide insightful and encouraging feedback to others.

I can conjure up a story when my daughters say ‘Tell me a story’ (which makes car journeys much more bearable).

After 4 years of giving presentations, and receiving constructive feedback from fellow members, I’ve learnt how to make an impact.

My older daughter made me glow when she said (unprompted) ‘Mummy, you tell the best stories in the world. You should do it as a job’. I’m not about to change career, but I am happy to have found my voice and have the confidence to share my stories.

My top tips:

• Get their attention – hold it – and wait till they are ready to listen. This applies to making a dramatic and unexpected opening in a formal speech presentation, or getting your husband out of the garage, or your child away from their jigsaw.
• Listen. Simple. Don’t speak. Bite your tongue. Just listen. It’s so powerful. Whether you’re listening to others in a formal setting, waiting for your husband to share his day, or for your child to tell you what they did at school.
• Keep it short and sweet. Whether it’s a presentation or a packing list for holiday, a list of instructions for dinner or a one-to-one in the office, keep it simple. It works.

(Did you notice 3 tips? The power of three, that’s another useful tip).

Catherine

Catherine Cannon, 40, is a Sustainability Manager and Fellow of CIWEM. She has two gorgeous daughters, Amelie is 6 3/4 and Isabelle is 3 1/2. She loves living in Chichester. She’s particularly fond of parkrun, Toastmasters, eating Montezuma’s dark chocolate buttons and going on holiday. A lot.

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