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How To Be A Badass Single Parent
1. Find your tribe
Let’s get the ‘controversial’ one out the way first. IMHO for you to flourish as a total Badass SP, you NEED other single parent friends; even it’s just the one. Of course, before you start trolling me, I’m not saying ditch your married friends, or even your single non-parent ones, but you’re gonna need to broaden your friendship base to include some SPF’s now (Single Parent Friends, not Sun Protection Factor, although please get some of that too, as it’s roasting out there…) and I’ll tell you why- you are
More to the point, as much as you need single parent friends, so too do your kids need friends with single parents. Having a SPF gives you that much needed context when it comes to tackling those awkward questions, like, “why do all my other friends’ mummies and daddies live together?”, as it helps normalize other parenting models
So how do you find these fabulous single parents to hang out with? Well, libraries, soft play centres, mother and baby groups, but if you can’t get out much, I recommend downloading one of the new ‘mum apps’ out there. I admit, at first I felt incredibly nervous and a bit of a loser when I started ‘internet mum dating’, but the apps- much like dating apps in fact- allow you to identify other
Yes, it all sounds a bit calculated, but you know what, I had a total result on there. I made the most amazing friend who is an absolute ray of sunshine and she and her daughter are now a huge part of my life. We joke about how we never would have met if we hadn’t been single parents and that’s the
2. Get Thrifty
According to Single Parent Charity, Gingerbread, 47% of children in single parent families live in relative poverty- around twice the risk of relative poverty faced by children in couple families (24%), so you don’t need me to do the maths for you- being a single parent can be financially tough.
This, my friend, is why you need
A trip to Poundland is the ultimate high for you and your kid/s. Nowhere else can you walk into a shop all ‘Daddy Warbucks’, saying, ‘Choose whatever you want, darling!’ and actually mean it. It literally is the best feeling ever and the ultimate way to make you feel like a total badass.
Better still, if you’re feeling really flush, give your kids a trolley each and let them play ‘Supermarket
3. Choose A Celebrity Single Parent Spirit Animal
Does what it says on the tin. I choose Angelina Jolie (The Queen Of Single Parent Badasses) as my International one and Claire Sweeney as my UK one, after I personally saw her nailing it Badass SP style at Butlins last year, unfrazzled
4. Contrast, Don’t Compare!
Guess what, you are not like everybody else. You’re in the minority now, with only two million of us fabulous single parents in the country. Maybe you were already a minority in other ways before you took on single parent life so you’ve already experienced other people’s judgment, but either way, I say, embrace who you are and be the difference. What is the point of comparing yourself to anyone else
Let’s be honest, at parents’ evenings, weddings, dinner parties, anything which requires you to have an ‘other half’, you’re gonna stick out like a sore thumb, so you might as well have fun with it- chuck on a tie dye kaftan, sport a mohawk and a gold bumbag
5. Creative Childcare
And finally, one of the most difficult issues a single parent faces is freedom- freedom to have a social life or even just to pop into Tesco’s alone. With no other half to share the load, it can be both expensive and time-consuming when it comes to childcare options. The prospect of a social life can feel like a luxury, a solitary night out requiring its own spreadsheet, Project Manager and budget code and subsequently, it can just feel a darn sight
Well, the trick is to get creative. Childcare really doesn’t have to cost a fortune. Ikea has its own creche where you can drop your kids off for FREE for a whole HOUR. That’s 60 minutes to shop, nod off, or sit there refreshing the Daily Mail gossip page - whatever floats your boat. Another idea is the gym- most gyms have a creche these days. Now I know the point is you’re supposed to use that precious time to exercise, but for the Badass Single Parent, we know that gyms aren’t
And on that note, if you ARE interested in going out and doing some exercise (but feeling like it’s too much of a childcare ‘mission impossible’), might I suggest staying in? And by that I mean, stick on YouTube- you’d be surprised by how many full session workouts are on there- HIT, yoga, pilates etc- I often
So, stay calm and carry on, wherever you are on your single parenting journey, because I promise you, you’ve GOT this! Maybe you don’t have anyone else to do the ole good cop/bad cop routine with, but guess what, you get to be both cops now and there’s nothing more