YOUR FRESHMUM YEAR

Natalie Finnerty - 29 Jan 15

I recently became the proud owner of a one-year-old. A year often shoots by in a blink, but I have never known a year seem as long as my first year of motherhood. When I think back to being pregnant or having a newborn, it feels like another decade entirely.

During the past year it has often felt like I’m studying for an impossibly difficult degree, with the amount of reading, desperate researching and learning I’ve done. And it got me thinking; your first year as a mum does have quite a few similarities to the first year of university – your ‘freshmum’ year if you will.

IT FEELS LIKE JOINING A FRATERNITY
I may have studied in Stoke-on-Trent rather than San Francisco, but I’ve seen enough American college films to notice that some of the things you can find yourself doing as a new mum, could be mistaken for those odd exercises that pledges are forced to do when they want to join an exclusive society. For example: Getting your boobs out in a room full of strangers at a breastfeeding drop-in (in fact getting your boobs out constantly, which may remind some people a lot of their first year at uni).

YOU EAT BADLY
You may also find yourself eating lots of questionable meals during your first weeks/months as a mum, just like a student away from home for the first time. Taking care of this tiny, terrifying little being can feel like a four handed job at least, and you wish you’d taken everyone’s advice and batched cooked bolognese. I had Isaac just before Christmas and I distinctly remember meals in the first few weeks that consisted of chocolate coins shoved straight into my mouth from the fridge. And just as a lot of people learn to cook when they leave home for uni, as a new mum you learn to cook one handed, while clutching a colicky baby with your other arm during the infamous ‘witching hour’.

YOU DRINK REGULARLY
Something that featured in both my life as a student and new mum is alcohol. Not student amounts of alcohol of course but a little glass of wine, in the words of a friend on one particularly weepy day, ‘just takes the edge off’. And I definitely remember a midwife mentioning that a nice glass of red is good for milk flow; what better excuse do you need?

YOU FIND YOURSELF IN THE LIBRARY
You might also find yourself spending a lot of time in libraries with a baby, probably for the first time since you last studied. I hadn’t given my local library much thought in years, but now I see it as somewhere that has literally seemed like a lifeline at times, providing free groups I can take Isaac to when we’ve both needed to get out of the house.

BUT…
The one main difference between motherhood and university that I can see is that motherhood is a degree I will never complete, and an institution I will never graduate from. It will keep me cramming, flunking, stressing and studying and that’s ok, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Motherhood is different for all of us… if you’d like to share your thoughts, why not join our Network & start posting?

Natalie Finnerty

Natalie Finnerty has recently returned from maternity leave to her job as a social media officer. She is currently trying to remember what she used to pretend to do all day. She lives in South London with her husband Andy and their one-year-old son Isaac. You can follow her on twitter @natfinnerty

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