10 WAYS NEW MOTHERHOOD IS LIKE RELIVING YOUR TEENS

Molly Gunn - 17 Nov 14

1. YOU CAN’T HOLD YOUR DRINK
Early years of motherhood sees you embracing alcohol at social occasions with the same gusto as your 15-year-old self. In the same way you used to speed-drink alcopops, you now neck as many glasses of Prosecco as is possible in the short space of time you’ve booked the babysitter. Except, just like a teenager, your body doesn’t seem to cope well with this large influx of booze… but being sick post-party feels far less rock & roll now that you have kids.

2. YOUR BODY FEELS ALL WEIRD
Body angst – the plight of all teenagers! How happy we were to move past our teens and into our twenties when we finally embraced our body’s oddities. Oh, how good we felt about ourselves! Having kids has brought that ‘weird body’ phase right back; our boobs have gone AWOL and our tummy is determined to do it’s own thing, our assets feel like they’ve been abducted by aliens. This too shall pass (here’s hoping).

3. YOU GET BOSSED ABOUT
“Stop telling me what to do,” was one of our teenage moans, as everyone from parents to teachers seemed to boss us about. These days of course, we’re being bossed about once again on a daily basis… by Little Dictators. We pretend they don’t own us, that they’re not the boss of us… and yet, why is it we find ourselves doing pretty much what they want, pretty much most of the time?

4. YOU QUESTION YOUR NORMALITY
Teenagers often question if what they’re doing is normal, because they’re embarking on grown up life and they haven’t got a clue how to do it. It’s exactly like becoming a mum and wondering if you’re doing it right. Do other mothers lick food off their kid’s face? Do other mums eat pasta pesto nearly every day? Do other mums do the school run in the leggings they’ve slept in?

5. YOU HAVE MOOD SWINGS
When we were teenagers we’d get moody at random moments. Just like this morning when you snapped at your other half for something-or-other, and you got annoyed at your kids for taking-bloody-ages to leave the house. In your twenties you might have gone to more lengths to hide this side to your personality, but now it feels easier to let it all out!

6. YOU CRAVE SLEEP
When we around 16 it was cool to be tired. We were sooo tired all of the time! Probably because we’d been up late at a party or smoking something in the park. Now, we feel tired on a daily basis, but it’s not because we’ve been out partying on weeknights. It’s because our kids don’t sleep well and we drink too much coffee. This isn’t cool tired. This is uncool tired. But we still love to talk about it to anyone who’ll listen.

7. YOU HAVE UNCOMFORTABLE SEX
This doesn’t need explaining, we all know what this is like. Luckily, as with our younger selves… it does get better.

8. YOUR STYLE IS OFF-KILTER
When we were teenagers we were forever trying to find our sense of style. We knew it was out there somewhere. Or we hoped it was at least… We finally found ‘our style’ in our 20s and revelled in dressing up… but oh what’s this? Post-childbirth we now lurk once again in a sketchy fashion world, where our general sense of style is MIA, and we live in jeans and T-shirts. Just like teenagers.

9. YOU NEED TIME OUT
As a teenager it was easy to feel like we were constantly at the beck and call of other people. We had to do boring stuff like go to school, and interact with our families, we hardly had any time just to BE. It was so nice to shut the door on our bedroom and take time out. Just like now. Our kids are wonderful but demanding, and life is busy… sometimes we need a little recharge! Unlike being a teenager though, this is best done without flouncing off and slamming your door…

10. YOU’VE GOT A GET-OUT CLAUSE
The mood swings, the tiredness, the dodgy sense of style, the drunkern party antics… the wonderful thing about being a mother of young kids is that you’ve always got a get-out clause. Nobody expects anything less. Just like being a teenager. Time to make the most of it…

Motherhood is different for all of us… if you’d like to share your thoughts, why not join our Network & start posting?

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Molly Gunn

Molly Gunn is the Curator of Goodness at Selfish Mother, a site she created for likeminded women in 2013. Molly has been a journalist for over 15 years, starting out on fashion desks at The Guardian, The Telegraph & ES Magazine before going freelance in 2006 to write for publications including Red, Stella, Grazia, Net-A-Porter and ELLE. She now edits Selfish Mother and creates #GoodTees which are sold via TheFMLYStore.com and John Lewis and have so far raised £650K for charity. Molly is mother to Rafferty, 5, Fox, 3 and baby Liberty. Molly is married to Tom, aka music producer Tee Mango and founder of Millionhands. They live, work and play in Somerset.

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