Rachel Hawkins - 22 Mar 16

30. Thirty years old.  How did that happen?  I can scarcely believe it; in my mind I’m still 21 although the mirror tells me something quite the opposite!

I’d love to say I’m excited about my impending change of age, I really wish I could say I’m not dreading it, but in many ways I am and I’m not quite sure why.

I feel like I’m not quite ‘old enough’ to turn 30, like I’m not quite ready to relinquish that 2 at the start of my age.

My best friend turns 30 a couple of weeks prior to me and she is practically welcoming her Birthday with open arms.  I really admire her for that so why the hell can’t I?

My twenties have been a mixed bag, there’s been incredible highs and incredible lows.  I’ve achieved a lot over the last decade so surely I should be pleased to enter my thirties and look forward to what lies ahead, satisfied with my achievements and experiences?

On my way to work this morning I was racking my brains as to why I’m so devastated about turning 30.

Why am I grieving for my 20’s?

I’ll be honest, I feel like I’ve lost a decade (and more) somewhere.  Where did the noughties go for a start?  To be honest, they probably passed me by in a haze of teenage angst and drunken experiences.  I was only saying to my Mum the other day that I still think the 1970’s were 20 years ago.  She agreed.

Following this path of self-discovery I found myself on during the 30 minute journey into the office, I realised I have a few questions regarding turning 30.

I’m hoping any fellow 30-somethings (and indeed older) can help me with my quest to discover what turning 30 really means and potentially holds for me.

1.Do I have to say goodbye to short skirts and dresses?

I didn’t really get my pins out until my mid-twenties thus don’t feel like I’m quite prepared to cover them up just yet.  I’m quite happy with how my legs look at the grand old age of 29 but am also aware that it might not be ‘the done thing’ to bare them in their entirety.  The words mutton and lamb ring in my ears when I’m clothes shopping these days.  Is it OK to have a short hem or do I need to become acquainted with the pencil skirt and/or *whispers* tights at all times?

 2.Can I still swear?

Do I now have to start acting all lady like and mature with my language? Do I have to mind my P’s and Q’s for fear of sound like an old fishwife.  There’s that word I hate.  Old.

3.Are your 30’s really your best decade?

I’ve heard on the grapevine (celebs in magazines actually) that for a woman your thirties are the best years of your life.  Is this really the case?  Do I have a lot to look forward to or were my 20’s as good as it gets?  I’m interested to hear from older ladies with regards to this question.

4.Can I still watch TOWIE etc?

Reality TV shows, especially TOWIE/Made In Chelsea et al seem to have an average cast member age of 24, they go out partying more or less every night, move from partner to partner and the only thing they seem to worry about is creating the best selfie pose.  Are these really the sort of shows I should be watching?  Do I now have to embrace Antiques Roadshow and the like?

5.Do hangovers get worse?  Is it uncouth to drink more than 4 glasses of wine on a night out?

I’ve been rather lucky with my hangovers since I began drinking at 21.  I’ve never been sick the morning after the night before and aside from the occasional headache from hell, I’ve pretty much escaped anything too horrendous.  Thus, I’m quite concerned when I read that people have experienced horrific hangovers in their thirties.  Can anyone confirm this? I’m guessing binge drinking has to cease once your hell raising 20’s are no more.  Perhaps I’ll introduce a glass of water to every other drink.

6.Do you feel more secure with yourself and more confident with your body?

I’ve had a love/hate relationship with my body during my twenties.  Up until I was 24 I didn’t really care that much, then I became quite obsessed in my mid to late 20’s and now I’m at a stage where I’m not happy but I find it difficult to get motivated.  I hear many women have said they feel at peace with their bodies and their insecurities once they reach their 30’s.  Is this true?  Am I going to wake up on 6th May 2016, look in the mirror and really not give one anymore?  Doubtful.

7.Can I still slut drop when I’m out dancing?

Well, can I?

If anyone can provide answers to my aforementioned questions, I would be grateful. As I said, I feel I’m in unchartered territory and would like to become well versed with the rules; the do’s and the dont’s of the Thirties Club.

Rachel Hawkins

Almost 30 year old (eeeek) Mother to one from Bristol. Writing about whatever takes my fancy, mainly due to the fact 140 characters on Twitter and a Facebook status just isn't enough! Passionate about mental health awareness.

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