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LIST 
ROARING ROUTINE!
4:36.5am: Question sanity TRY AND SLEEP.
4:37am: Consider getting that workout out of the way early since you are already up
4:37.5am: Reconsider
5:30am: Wake up again when someone belonging to you is actually breaking in (to your bed that is)
5:45AM: SHOWER!!
6:00am: MAKE COFFEE LOTS OF COFFEE
6:30am: Find that you have watched the entire episode of
6:45am make up ……….Apply lipstick maybe even some bb cream and blush if we get the time.
7:01am: Feed apparently STARVING children a healthy breakfast and get yourself tidy
7:12am: Clear untouched plates and feed second carb-based breakfast
7:20am: dry hair whilst trying to make the little ones hair look less like a birds nest
7:30am: Opt for carb-based breakfast yourself, while making mental plans for a salad for lunch and pre-slow cooked porridge you will make for the
8:00am: Crap!! It’s 8 already?!?! make sure you look alive and no toilet tissue is stuck to your shoe
8:10am: Yell at kids to get ready for school
8:20am: tell kids to brush teeth
8:30am: Repeat
8:40am: Repeat with threats
8:41 – 9:20am: School run and leg it
9:30am: More coffee
10:00am: do that housework
10:01am: Think about all the things you should be doing instead of playing on your phone because you got distracted
10:02am: Stress about all the things not getting done around the house
10:03am: Wonder
10:04am:Worry about what career you will have after the life of young minions, oh wait you are already making one shut up.
10:05am: Question all your life’s choices .
10:06am: Look at happy child and be happy about life choices.
10:07am: Be sad that child is growing up so fast and school is making you redundant.
10:08am: Consider
10:09am: Resolve to get a dog instead dogs are good , we like dogs.
10:10am: Begin researching dogs on iPhone french bulldog yes? or maybe a boxer it’s a little more manly for the fellas.
10:11am: Have iPhone die because you can’t stop searching pooches
10:12am – 12:25pm: Survive, paint and make lunch.
12:30pm: Eat lunch of toast crusts left behind by kids – remember forgotten salad plans, workout plans, fuck! start again.
12.00: gym time if
12:31pm: washing time
1:31pm: more washing and that giant pile of ironing.
1:42pm: Fall asleep on pen, droll on “to do” list.
2:10pm: Head to grocery store for dinner supplies or sneak the gym in (wishful thinking) maybe i can do both, yes we can do both .
3:00pm: Empty bags to find you bought only wine and 7 different types of now eaten snacks used to bribe children to get through the supermarket.
3:15pm: Pick up kids and start the mental countdown until bedtime – 5 hours to go!
4:30pm: While kids play, consider
4:32pm: Find child with sudocrem everywhere eyeballs included.
6:05pm: fight over the vroom vroom solved! Now time to consider a plan to gain support for impeachment of the U.S. President and an artwork that tells ”me too” men really where to stick it.
6:07pm: Crap dinner! Make dinner, feed dinner,maybe make 4 dinners pour wine – you earned it! cuppa tea time.
6:35pm: Make mental list of all the things you need to do the
6:40pm: Spouse home, start dishes, start homework, forget about productivity list.
8:00pm: Crap! It’s 8 already?!? bed time needs to happen.
8:01pm – 8:35pm: Fight to get kids ready and into bed
8:40pm: Revisit productivity list
8:41pm: Decide to spend last few hours of the day founding a charity that leads to world peace.
8:42pm: Decide to watch tv instead , because quantico is amazing -hooked on box set binge, sky what have you done to me.
9:13pm: shit
9.30pm: starts artwork
12:15pm still painting, i need to sleep.
12:30 No you can not sleep in your clothes get ready for bed women, remove face of makeup , undo mum bun don’t forget the pjs and go brush those teeth
12.45 do some research on world domination , maybe read that book.
1:00pm poke snoring husband , roll snoring husband over, try and sleep.
REPEAT
