4 and struggling

Elizabeth McShane - 6 Feb 20

I am 4. I started school in September and I was so excited. I really wanted to be a big boy and lots of my friends are at the same school with me.

I am finding assembly really difficult, I need to sit still whilst the head teacher talks but it doesn’t hold my attention and I have too much energy. I get in trouble for moving and behaving badly.

I am learning to read and I try to read to my teacher but I get really sad if I cant do it right. I try to walk away, I want to come back in a minute, I just want space to calm down and process but I get told to come back. I am overwhelmed.

I am 4 years old and a little girl has pushed me on the playground, I didn’t think and I hit her. A teacher came and grabbed me and shouted, I dont know her and it made me scared. I am a bad person.

I am 4 years old and I dont want to go to school. I am a bad person. I dont want to hit. I dont know why I cant sit still. I dont know why I struggle to take turns.

Someone takes my shoes off in case I kick. If I hit or kick I go to the head teacher who tells me off. I sit out of lessons.

My mummy makes me go to school and I dont want to go. I am so angry with her. If she loved me she wouldn’t make me go. My mummy doesn’t love me. I have decided that I dont love her.

I am 4 years old and they have made me come to school. Everyone hates me.

I am 4 years old and I am undiagnosed but I am different.  I dont want to be different.

I want love.

Elizabeth McShane

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