5 Parenting Affirmations To Keep You Going

Anniki Sommerville - 9 Oct 17

So I tend to be fairly cynical when it comes to affirmations, but I’m also a complete self-help junkie and love reading about different ways to improve my life. I find myself putting off actually doing stuff until I’ve finished my latest book, and so it becomes yet another way to procrastinate. One area that I’ve found I’ve needed help in is the whole parenting sphere.

The thing is I struggle (like many of us) with the ability to stay calm. I look at other parents and worry that I am grumpier and more negative than others I see around me. I sometimes ask my daughter whether she thinks I’m grumpy and she’ll reply – ‘Yes you are a GRUMP Mummy.’  And I’ll reply – ‘WHAT THE HECK DO YOU MEAN?’ and then apologise as yes I can be, sometimes, often, okay at least once every two days.

Anyway I’ve combined my love of self-help with some nice affirmations which will hopefully keep you nice and calm and less likely to LOSE YOUR SHIZZLE completely.

Here we go…

1. I am dreaming of my bath right now and cannot hear your screams

This is a really effective chant if you’re standing in the local park and you have a half-eaten Chupa Chups stuck to your new Autumn coat, and your child is wailing that they want an ice cream and has actually bitten you on the arm and you feel tears welling up in your eyes from the pain. Just close your eyes for a moment and think of the gorgeous, hot bath (one without a child and wee in it) that you’re going to enjoy, and think of the feeling as all those muscles unknot themselves. Also think of eating ice cream in that bath and not sharing it with anyone.

2. I am ignoring this assault on my eyeballs and see only beams of sunshine and lovely things

So it’s just after a long playdate with multiple kids in the house, and you’ve gone up to the bedroom only to find that all the Sylvanian families have had their clothes torn off, popcorn is trodden into the carpet, and someone has got hold of your make up bag and mashed up your ONLY EXPENSIVE CHARLOTTE TILBURY lipstick.  Just think of the sunshine, think of the beach, think of lovely things like Brad Pitt coming out the sea with very small Speedos on, bringing you a freshly caught tuna that he’s going to BBQ for you -right after he’s bought you a new lipstick to replace the mashed up one yes?

3. I am breathing slowly and steadily and am hovering above this entire scene and feel serene and loving

This is the one to use if you are having a particularly bad day and your child keeps asking for things non-stop, and even when you try and hide upstairs on the toilet with Stella magazine, they chase you and try and sit on your lap, until you shout at them to LEAVE ME ALONE FOR FIVE GODDAM MINUTES WILL YOU? and then feel guilty because you’ve said it with so much hatred that they’ve run away weeping in fear, and will tell their therapist when they’re older that their Mum was more interested in reading about stylish Autumn winter coats (to replace the one covered in sodding Chupa Chups) than making shortbreads in the shape of Poppy the Troll.

4. My back feels flexible and relaxed at all times

This one works everyday but is particularly good if you’ve had to drag a scooter all the way up hill and then two miles up to the supermarket and then back again, but also with two shopping bags strapped to each arm (hot bath mantra is also good see Number 1.)

5. I am not jealous of you or anyone thank you and goodbye

A perfect affirmation if you get a bit of competitive Mum banter in the playground or park and are starting to feel that pang of envy creeping in whilst they scroll through the photos of their perfect holiday/extension/spray-tan/new car/Autumn coat. It’s also good to get that image of Brad Pitt roasting the tuna up on a roaring BBQ because no one can take that image from you right?

So there you go. 5 affirmations that will get you through the toughest of days. And if none of these work, try ‘alternate nostril breathing’. It actually works- GOOGLE IT! It looks weird but it will calm you immediately when nothing else will (perhaps because you can’t think about anything else aside from getting it right).

Namaste sisters. Namaste.

Anniki Sommerville

I'm Super Editor here at SelfishMother.com and love reading all your fantastic posts and mulling over all the complexities of modern parenting. We have a fantastic and supportive community of writers here and I've learnt just how transformative and therapeutic writing can me. If you've had a bad day then write about it. If you've had a good day- do the same! You'll feel better just airing your thoughts and realising that no one has a master plan. I'm Mum to a daughter who's 3 and my passions are writing, reading and doing yoga (I love saying that but to be honest I'm no yogi).

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