5 Ways To Be A Better Mother

Amy Williams - 12 Jun 17

Every mother strives to be supermom. There is an unrealistic expectation that moms can—and should—do it all and have it all. Be the perfect wife. The perfect employee. The perfect mother. No one can do it all flawlessly. The perfect mom is a story as magical and extraordinary as the Queen Goddess of Greek mythology, Hera. But, like Hera who birthed many of Zeus’ offspring and raged against anyone who crossed her, the perfect mother is a myth nonetheless.

You can’t have it all. Despite what any self-help book claims or any daytime talk show hopes to suggest, there is no true balance that creates perfection. As mothers, the hope and our goal should be to be the best mom we can for our children. Not perfect. Not without error. But good enough, still.

So when you’re feeling as though the perfect balance should exist and does exist. Remind yourself it—in fact—does not. Too often, we think we are failing. We assume we don’t do enough, or we do too much. We want to be the mom who creates the perfect pins on Pinterest, who makes every single game, and volunteers at every class party. The list goes on and on. And, frankly, it’s just noise that makes us worse off at the end of the day.

If you want to be perfect, you’ve undertaken the wrong job. Because every single mother is flawed. Beautifully. So give yourself a break, and maybe pat yourself on the back for surviving yet another day. And if you’re still not sure if you should be doing better—or if you can do better—keep these gentle reminders to heart:

1. You are unique in personality.

Like the phases of the moon, we wax and wane. Sometimes we have a great full glowing day as parents and in our job. Sometimes half of our aura is clouded by another responsibility that had to come first. And maybe that responsibility wasn’t our children. Stop treating your other roles as the darkness that clouds the light. Every role in our lives has to co-exist with parenthood. Accept it. And accept that you will handle it uniquely, because every woman’s personality is unique. Celebrate your phases…don’t fear them.

2. You will screw up as a parent.

Did you let your kids sit in front of their devices all day? Maybe you yelled too loud out of frustration. Or you didn’t spend enough time as a family. You did something and it weighs on your heart, and that is the essence of motherhood. We all have nights when the tears come, because we wished we did something a little differently. You can’t go back. You can’t look back. Change it tomorrow. Do it differently if the same situation presents itself. Motherhood—parenthood—is a learning curve. You won’t hit it out of the park every day. No one does.

3. Judge, and you will be judged.

Motherhood is a wickedly complicated sorority. Mean moms exist. Don’t be one. Don’t make snap comments about a mother breastfeeding her toddler. Or bottlefeeding a newborn. Don’t judge another mother’s parenting choices. Be supportive. Be kind. You reap what you sow.

4. Be kind to yourself.

Motherhood means forgiveness. When your child apologizes for spilling juice on the carpet, you forgive them. But when accidents happen, we often fail to forgive ourselves. Give yourself the same kindness you extend to others. Forgive yourself when you error, and congratulate yourself when you have an awesome day.

5. Eat and sleep.

If you feel like you’re short-tempered and you just can’t take anymore, step back. Often, we don’t take care of ourselves in the same way we care for others. We skip meals to accomplish more and then deplete our bodies of rest and nourishment in the process. Take care of you. Eat. Go to sleep at a decent hour. Those cupcakes don’t need baking at 9 p.m. Run to the store and buy some. No one will care. Except you.

Drop the illusion of the perfect mom. She doesn’t exist. She isn’t on Pinterest, Instagram or Facebook. Social media is not a hub of perfection; it is, however, a curated peek into the lives of others. Be a better mom by admitting that perfection doesn’t exist. Be the best you….that’s enough. For you and your children.

Amy Williams

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