6 Things That Surprised Me About Giving Birth

Anniki Sommerville - 14 Jan 19

The first time I gave birth to my daughter five years ago, it was all pretty much a blur. I was heavily medicated and the whole thing took forever. When she arrived I was so disorientated and shell-shocked that I shifted my focus straight onto this tiny person. I didn’t think about what had just happened (aside from the birth injury and the fact that I had to sit on an inflatable cushion every day for two weeks).

I had another daughter in December. This time the experience was different. When people asked about the birth I said – ‘I just want the baby to be healthy,’ and ‘I’m completely up for whatever happens. I don’t have a solid plan.’ I would do what was required.  I would use mindfulness and breathing. I put some hypnobirthing tracks on my phone. I did a few stretches and tried not to think too hard.

So what did I learn this time? Well here’s 6 Things that struck me this time around…

1. I didn’t realise how boring the lead up to giving birth can be

I spent two whole days with a monitor on my tummy lying on my back in a communal ward. I couldn’t sleep because the ward was busy and there was a lot of snoring at night and visitors in the day. I was bored but a new kind of bored- scared bored. Like being held hostage for months on end but aware that something awful could happen at any minute.

2.Midwives are amazing

NHS midwives do an incredibly hard job. The hospital was busy and they were under staffed. There was one midwife tending to 5 women  (on the induction ward). Some of these women were scared. Others were beligerent and complained about the food/their bed/the noise/the monitors. I never heard a midwife complain.

3. When the contractions start you can might not feel too bad

When the contractions started I thought – ‘Hey I can manage this. WHAT’S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT?’ I watched an episode of ‘Dietland’ on Netflix. I listened to my hypnobirthing track which was a lovely,old, lady telling me all about fishes and how I was swimming in a cool, blue ocean. Then something happened. The woman talking on the hypnobirthing track turned into a monster. She was screaming- GET OUT OF THE SEA! RUN FOR YOUR DAMN LIFE! THERE’S A SHARK BITING YOUR LEGS OFF. 

I tossed my phone on the floor. I looked at the clouds and realised I’d never felt anything like this.

4. When the contractions kicked in properly it was VERY bad

The pain was a weird juddery pain like someone was sawing me in half. I felt my teeth chattering. I was worried that my legs would come off.  I tried to walk but instead bent over in the corridor and swore that if I survived I would never complain about anything again.

5. I can scream much louder than I thought  

I am generally a calm person. I lose my temper but it’s rare that I scream. I mean SCREAM. This time once I started screaming I realised that I enjoyed doing it. It served as a good distraction. I wondered why I hadn’t screamed more in my life. Like why I hadn’t headed up a heavy metal band and screamed for hours.  It was a release. The voice wasn’t my own voice.

I alternated between screaming – I CAN DO THIS! I CAN! Then  – I’M DYING! I shouted that the hospital ‘SMELT LIKE CABBAGES’. I heard the woman in the next cubicle throw up. I was jealous that she was in an earlier stage of labour. I wanted to swap places. I squeezed any arm that came near.

6. Your body is an amazing thing

I know we’ve all seen the body positive posts on Instagram and we revel in how amazing our bodies are. Truth is I hate the veins on my legs. I hate my back which is as wide as a bus. But YES BIRTH TEACHES YOU THAT YOUR BODY IS AMAZING. A baby comes out of your vagina. Next it’s being laid on your chest and you’re crying and blood is everywhere but you’re crying and loving and dying and laughing. The whole sweet mess of it all. And you worried that you wouldn’t be able to love another child like the one you have already.

But you do.

You do and do and do and do.

Anniki Sommerville

I'm Super Editor here at SelfishMother.com and love reading all your fantastic posts and mulling over all the complexities of modern parenting. We have a fantastic and supportive community of writers here and I've learnt just how transformative and therapeutic writing can me. If you've had a bad day then write about it. If you've had a good day- do the same! You'll feel better just airing your thoughts and realising that no one has a master plan. I'm Mum to a daughter who's 3 and my passions are writing, reading and doing yoga (I love saying that but to be honest I'm no yogi).

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