A Tale of Two Christmases

Rachael Tuckley - 7 Dec 17

Please don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas as much as the next person.
I love Christmas in the same way a greedy person loves cake (and I should know, I am a greedy person).
I enjoy the lights, the sparkle and the paper hats. I crave mulled wine, mixed nuts and mince pies and if afforded the chance I would grab a one way family ticket to the ‘Land of Lap’.

However, for some strange reason, this year I feel a little sad. I’m not weeping into my granola by any means but there is a sense of melancholy in the air.
It would appear that maternity leave has afforded me a little too much time to wander around the shops and long periods browsing online over the last year.
With the first signs of Christmas now appearing at the end of September, my festive preparations feel nothing short of perpetual.

I decided this year that I would stick to the mantra that it really is ‘the thought that counts’. The trouble is, there has been too much time to think over the past few months and as the thoughts have stacked up, so has the cost. I’m also a great over thinker.

‘Is it enough?’
‘Do they need more?’
‘How much is too much…or too little?’

I would say that I am representative of many modern parents and in particular, modern mothers. I have a compulsion to over spend and over indulge my offspring and it is not fostering goodwill within them.

Let’s be honest, children today are ungrateful and this may be due in part to parents like me.
The majority of children understand very quickly that gifting is part of our social DNA. It is as integral as eating or sleeping.
Where once children would anticipate and enjoy the smallest of tokens, today it’s all about bigger and more expensive offerings.

It’s ironic really. We talk about frugal and thoughtful living, mindfulness for mental health and the continual search for life balance. There is also a weight of evidence to suggest that stuff and clutter only raises anxiety.

Why then do we project our Christmas neurosis onto our children through the amount that we buy, knowing full well that most of them will struggle to even remember what they’ve received?

Children require order and a level of parental restraint and support to cope with the pressures of life and Christmas time is no exception. Schedules and routines are all over the place for a start.
Coupled with the continual need to gift and to give and we complicate there need for a simple life.
Its also about how we manage expectations. If children continue to receive high volumes of things,  some of which they will never find time to truly enjoy, how can we ever hope to foster gratitude and appreciation?

So my pledge is this, next year will be different and so to will the message I give to my children.

They must know that growing up in the developed western world, they are extremely lucky, that for most there is democracy, sustenance, shelter, free health care and free education.
They must also know that others are not quite so fortunate, that poverty and hunger is a very real problem for many.
It shouldn’t be simply a case of being ‘naughty’ or ‘nice’ at Christmas, our children also need to be ‘thoughtful’, ‘compassionate’ and ’empathetic’ to boot.

With this in mind it’s time to ensure that gifts are measured and mindfully given, that our children understand the value of the things they receive and not just from a monetary perspective.
We must ensure that our children do not expect to receive great amounts. Only then will they truly understand and appreciate just how blessed they are.

Rachael Tuckley

A Parenting and Lifestyle Blogger exploring modern living with children. Proving that life can be a lot more fabulous for less. Musings for anyone navigating life as Mum or Dad. HuffPost Blogger.

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