A whistle stop return to work

Threeunder_3 - 16 Apr 17

So this week has seen a complete turnaround of circumstances for me and I can proudly say I survived my first week at work. For those that don’t follow my Instagram, I haven’t worked since 2014 and was made redundant whilst on maternity leave with my first child.

So here I am, I have a 1 and a 2 year old and I am 20 weeks pregnant and this week I went back to work. I randomly got a call of an agency for a company which I had done work for in the past. They knew I was pregnant, happy for me to pick my own hours, days and work as long as I wanted until the baby arrived. Seemed too good to turn down, I ummed and ahhed then posted on Insta and got lots of “go for it” messages. So I did.

So what have I learnt from my return to the workplace after 2 and a ½ years off;

• Despite what I thought my brain has not completely disappeared. Whilst I have been at work, I can listen, remember things and answer people back in full sentences. Unlike at home where I start approximately 10 conversations an hour and finish none of them, don’t retain any information and do stupid things like pour orange cordial in my tea and set tea towels on fire.

• Finding maternity work wear is hard. I do not feel like an office powerhouse in my maternity work skirt.

• Getting to work without finding porridge, snot, some unidentified substance on my maternity work skirt is nigh on impossible.

• It takes an absolutely ridiculous amount of time to get to work. This applies anyway if you’re a mum but it feels worse if you’re trying to get out the house to go to work rather than to messy play. I have had to get up at 6.30 to get to work for 9.30 and that’s no messing about or lingering with a cup of tea over Paw Patrol. That’s three solid hours of dressing, feeding, packing, herding, driving, all done with a mild sense of panic that something is going to go wrong and I’m not going to get there. I assume you get used to this although I can’t imagine it gets any more pleasant.

• Eating your lunch at your desk in silence is the height of luxury.

• I look at pictures of the boys on my phone several times an hour.

• It is not professional to have (clean) nappies and a pair of Thomas pants (not mine) on show in your handbag. Pretty sure my manager clocked them but didn’t comment.

• I miss the boys an unbelievable amount. Don’t get me wrong, I farmed the boys out pretty regularly before coming to work, to grandparents but usually for a couple of hours or maybe an overnight every now and then. But it seems different somehow coming to work dropping them off at 8am and collecting at 5.30. It feels like I am missing so many of those tiny details that make up their days (not singing wind the bobbin up on repeat – I can do without that)

• The boys do not miss a trick. Archie has clung to me every night and morning and Ted has told me that I don’t need to wear them clothes (obviously more used to seeing me in leggings) and that Daddy gets the pennies not me, casual gender stereotyping going on.

• Just because they have noticed the change doesn’t mean they aren’t ok. They have been to nursery which they’ve loved and had Nana and Grandad for the day at home. Not being with me 24/7 isn’t going to do them any harm at all.

• It is possible despite everything that has changed becoming a mum to two under two and soon to be three under three, to feel like yourself again. Even if it is only for two days a week.

• I have been aware of this for a while but coming to work has confirmed it for me that I have lost my identity a bit which is easily done when your days are a blur of small people and the most successful thing you do is get them to bed on a night. My mum asked what the people were like at the company and she said ‘what have people said when you tell them you have a 1 and 2 year old at home and are pregnant again’. Funnily enough, I haven’t told anyone, because nobody has asked. For lots of people the first topic of conversation isn’t how many children you have, did you have pain relief and do they sleep through the night.

Don’t get me wrong, I am well aware I’m not saving the world or doing the job of a brain surgeon. Its two days a week doing something which I’m quite overqualified for but I can do in my sleep and it is only for a few months. By September this will be a distant memory and I will be back in the baby bubble. But hopefully eventually I will get back to work again. I absolutely take my hat off to people working full time and holding down stressful jobs in positions of real responsibility. They seriously deserve some special recognition, like someone should write to Surprise Surprise on their behalf.

It is not easy to balance a career and children, but then it’s also not easy to give up your career and raise children. Either way, in the words of Ben Howard, keep your head up, keep your heart strong.

Threeunder_3

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