Let’s Not Let Fear Win

Ketchup and Cornflakes - Rachel Rimell Photography - 23 May 17

This is not something I would usually write about. I’m a photographer. I write about photography. Last night’s events in Manchester make my posts about how to look good in photos seem trite. But since I heard about the tragic events when I woke this morning it has preyed on my mind – as a mother and as a human being. So I have felt compelled to write as a cathartic measure mostly for me. So this post is not about photography. But it is about memories, which is what my work is about really at its core.

Most people who know me know that after photography my passion is music. Some of my greatest memories are of music. At 13 I got to go to my first concert – Bros at Whitley Bay ice rink, shortly followed by New Kids on the Block. I didn’t say I was cool back then! But it did ignite a love of music and of seeing it live. One of my greatest regrets is not going to see Nirvana play at Newcastle Mayfair when I had the chance.

What a regret to have. Unlike the music-goers last night in Manchester who should have been bringing home memories of a fun night out, of a future infused with music and seeing it performed live. For many that night at Manchester Arena will have been their first taste of a gig. For too many it was their last. And for many more it will taint their memories and affect their futures in ways we don’t even yet know.

Never once in my gig-going days as a teenager did it cross my mind that I may be putting myself in danger. I expect it didn’t cross anyone’s mind last night either and nor should it have. I hope it will never cross the minds of my children when they’re old enough to be venturing into what I hope will be a shared love of music.

My own mother’s first instinct to protect her own children after hearing the news – in our late 30s and early 40s as we are (a mother never stops worrying!) – was to ask me to not go into central London as planned at the weekend with my husband for our anniversary (a rare child-free day out) ‘just in case’.

I understand that instinct. I’ll probably say the same to my children one day if faced with the same circumstance and the same fear. God forbid anything should happen to either or both of us while our children are left at home with the grandparents. God forbid anything should happen to any of us – any mother, father, daughter, son. But also god forbid they grow up in a culture of fear, avoiding the everyday things we should all take for granted and enjoy untainted.

I understand the instinct to protect. And words cannot even begin to express the sadness I feel for those families torn apart by last night’s events, those young lives ended and even more touched by the events, and poor Ariana Grande who herself must also be devastated. But we must go about our lives unafeared. We must continue with the everyday. We must not give in to fear. And we must do all we can to ensure the future is as free from fear as possible for our fearless children. So that they remain fearless. So that they get to build memories that are not based on fear but on joy and happiness and passions ignited.

The world is full of horrors and sadness we wish to protect our children from. But it also has wonders and delights that we must continue to pursue and focus on if we are not to let fear win.

Be not afeared: the Isle is full of noises. Sounds and sweet airs that give delight and hurt not.

Ketchup and Cornflakes - Rachel Rimell Photography

Published and award-winning documentary family photographer based in London. Documenting the everyday in family life as beautiful works of art and celebrating the beauty in the ordinary.

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