Body Positivity is not about size!

Rachel Buckley - 19 Mar 18

“How much do you still need to lose?”

“I thought you were all about the body positivity bit hypocritical when you’re losing weight.”

Let’s be clear: I didn’t and don’t NEED to lose to anything. There’s nothing wrong with the size I was before or the size I am now. Body positivity is not about size.

It’s so fantastic to see so many women and men talking about and promoting body positivity. I think it’s a huge step forward so it troubles me when I see the odd comment suggesting someone doesn’t have a right to discuss it, to claim it, to promote it. The principal of body positivity is what it means for you. What would be a positive relationship with your own body.

I had two goals when I started the “fitter, leaner, stronger programme” from @Impactdancefit. I’m not going to lie one was to get into a pair of jeans. These were not someone else’s jeans. These were not jeans in a size below. Or the size I was pre baby. These were my jeans. In my size. That I couldn’t get on anymore.

But that wasn’t the primary goal. The primary goal was the reason I couldn’t get in my jeans. It was to fix my back. The programme was all about what I could gain not what I should lose. The picture above on its own has nothing to do with body positivity for you; but for me it tells a story. If he had asked me to play like this 6 months ago I would have cried. Even if you know me well you probably wouldn’t know this (see previous post about not asking for help!). You wouldn’t know from the photo how close I was to spinal surgery. You wouldn’t know from the photo that I’ve moved heaven and earth to carry my little boy (who has always been bloody huge!) again.

The wonderful @bodyposipanda has said that if you have to starve yourself or make yourself sick to make your body a certain way then that isn’t the size you are supposed to be. She’s phenomenal, follow her if you don’t already, and this is so true. For me it’s also true that if my body is a result of not being able to move and constant comfort eating then that’s also not the size I’m supposed to be.

I worked hard to fix my back but the next step was to strengthen everything else so I could sustain it. I was terrified of exercise. Terrified I would do damage and would be right back where I started. But I worked with the right programme at the right pace to form habits I can keep up. A result of the renewed strength is I’m fitter and I’m leaner. Did what it said on the tin.

There are people out there who are far fitter and stronger than me. They may also be bigger than me. Because that’s their size. I don’t get to tell them not to be positive about their body because they’re bigger than me – it’s theirs! There are friends of mine who are smaller than me who are the most body positive people I know. One is the fitness specialist I worked with; one is a Pilates instructor. They both focus on what people can gain personally for them not what they can lose. I don’t get to tell them not to be positive about their body because they’re smaller than me – it’s theirs!

Maybe your friend is skinnier than you and you feel she can’t/shouldn’t complain – ‘she’s lucky’. Maybe she’s bigger and you feel she can’t/shouldn’t complain – ‘she’s made choices’. Both such common misconceptions. But they’re our friends and whatever their size or shape or issue we should be saying ok you’re not happy what can I do to help?

Or if wonderfully they are truly happy – even if that’s involved a change bigger or smaller – we should celebrate with them.

We need to be mindful of creating a shape for body positivity. It is not about size. It is about what works for you mentally and physically.

*side note – yes my toddler has styled himself on a 90’s boy band. It’s his body, who am I to judge!

Rachel Buckley

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