Depression Kills

Diva Mum - 17 Mar 19

I am not qualified to comment on the death of Mike Thalassitis, I didn’t know him and I don’t know what happened to him other than the speculation that he took his own life.

What I do know is, and this doesn’t refer to Mike specifically, but people suffering in general, and that is, depression kills! It eats you up from the inside. It is said often that someone who kills them self is a coward. So I ask, can you imagine being so desperate to get out of your own head that you feel the need to take your own life?

I’ve spoken previously about the attempts I’ve made on my life in the past. Thankfully it’s been 7 years since my last attempt and I have absolutely no desire to go there again. Since meeting my fiancé in 2013 and having my daughter in 2016 my love for life has increased tenfold! I feel immense positivity and hope for our future. But I do know how it feels to want to end it all.

People say all the time to ‘reach out’ but when I did reach out, I was sometimes met with contempt instead of understanding.

‘She’s attention seeking’

‘She’s not depressed’

‘She’s mental’

‘She loves drama’

Imagine hating yourself and your life so much you wish you were dead and being told you’re just a drama queen. 

This happens more often than we care to acknowledge. The depressed friend is usually deemed the fun sponge, the mood killer, and we tend to distance ourselves from these people in order to preserve our own happiness. I’ve done it myself even, and I think sometimes it is necessary, but when we do that, where does it leave our friend?

When we make passing comments on someone’s outfit, makeup, size, hairstyle and so on on social media, do we stop to think this could be contributing to suicides? To the rise in mental health amongst the population?

I want us as a society to get to a place where everyone’s story is valid. Where we always listen, where everyone feels they can speak freely and aren’t met with contempt, but empathy.

I believe that people who say they suffer from mental health do indeed suffer. Call them attention seekers if you will, but there are better ways to get attention without fabricating a scary world inside your mind. Don’t forget that depression doesn’t necessarily mean crying all the time or staying in bed all day. As we’ve quite often seen, especially with ‘celebrity suicides’ these are normal people who function normally and often hide how they’re feeling for fear they’ll be judged.

We have got behind the ‘It’s ok to not be ok’ movement and that’s fantastic, but how ok is it? Is it ok as long as you’re not doing it for attention? Is it ok as long as you’re not trying to make your problems seem bigger than anyone else’s? Is it ok just as long as the people you tell believe you?

I have a chronic illness and if I post on social media about how my illness affects me, I often get met with eye rolls, unfollowers, and even my friends avoid comment. People will sometimes say things like ‘We don’t need to ask how you are because we know from your posts’ and just like that, I’m back feeling like a social burden.

Whilst I know nobody wants to read doom and gloom at every opportunity, I believe in the importance of being real. I believe that change comes from people who are brave enough to speak out. I believe that raising awareness is crucial in abolishing stigmas, so I will continue at every opportunity to be honest about my struggles. I choose to speak out in the hope that it will change the way society views mental health, in the hope it will change it, for good.

Don’t be the person that bullies someone, or turns a blind eye when someone reaches out, and don’t be the person that suffers in silence. You deserve help with your mental health as much as you do with your physical health. You deserve to be heard.

Diva Mum

31 year old, over thinker, tea drinker, over sharer & over swearer. Loves: my child (obviously) moaning, beach walks, tea and writing!

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