Facebook is acting like a big brother

Runninglikeagirl - 10 Mar 16

Facebook is acting like a big brother, sharing memories I would rather forget.

I had my first child in 2009, when FB was at its peak of popularity for my generation. Although many of us still use FB, its use has changed and the baton for regular status updates has been passed down a generation or two.

FB has emerged since its inception and being one of the early users, my use of it has also changed. Due to the time in my life, this change has occurred alongside pregnancy & birth of three children and their formative years.

Over this time, I have gone through the similar journey I am sure many of us have: heavy user, deleted profile, tried-to-resist-rejoining, rejoined, heavy user, deleted-app-user, trying-to-wean-off-it.

I am in the final stages, ‘trying-to-wean-off-it’ however although I am sure this is a sentence most people use to defend their FB use: I do have friends in another country and FB helps me connect, this alongside the birth of sites such as Selfish Mother the FB platform has many pros as well as plenty of cons.

One con for me is how FB has started to sporadically share our own memories and encourages these to be reposted. This mirror FB has been holding up on my own life, which captures snapshots from the previous 7 years is speeding up the desire to deactivate.

Humans are naturally forward thinking, our journey as humans is constantly moving forward and on a macro and micro level we are evolving.

Looking back can have its place, when we used to look at old photos the clothes look dated, hairstyles odd and we can’t believe it was only the 80’s or 90’s.
Every now and then a few rare photos look retro, quirky, funny or capture the memory perfectly and may make it to a frame or a permanent place in our memories, physically or mentally.

FB memories are similar to these old photos but the random algorithm that makes them appear, plunge us back in time to our own emotions or feelings from that time. This in itself is not always a good thing.

The first few ‘memories’ that FB shared with me, were quite characterless and well honestly boring. I did not like this feeling, the light that this unexciting and uninteresting status shone on me.

Currently we still have control of what is shared and these ‘memories’ can be deleted and not shared. But reflecting on them started to worry me, looking at the date I can transport myself back to a time when I was home alone with my first child not really knowing what to do and these lonely, dull status updates make me sad for who I was then. Or they transport me to a time when other external factors were playing out in my life, memories and times I had chosen to move on from and not place in my mental or physical memory box.

Of course some of the memories are cute pictures of my children, yet even then I panic and have that rush of anxiety, I often get with a hangover why did I post that, was I over sharing and being honest how boring.

The mirror of these FB memories is forcing us to reflect, look back and of course every now and then looking back is fun, healthy and important. But for the majority of time, looking forward is an important factor in being a happy and content individual.

The problem with FB memories is that; they may not have been true at the time, if the veil was lifted on that photo, status, and comment would the moment match?

What I posted on FB 5 years ago about weaning, walking in the park or waiting for wine o’clock who knows what I was really thinking, feeling or what was going on.

Life is about making memories and our experiences shape us, but these memories should be real, with real connections and real experiences and what I posted on FB on the 10.3.10 does not need to be relived like a shared family memory amongst siblings. I don’t need the FB big brother reminding me of something I did, said or thought. I want social media to be in the now like I am trying to be.

Runninglikeagirl

...trying to navigate the roadmap of life as a female, as a mother, as a wife, as a sister, as a daughter, and as a friend. A guidebook would have helped, yet some wisdom appearing with age. Three children & a husband are travelling along with me.

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