Forgiveness is Forgiveness
1
When my husband and I got married the vicar gave the strangest sermon. The one piece of advice he gave us was that ‘forgiveness is forgiveness’.
At the time this was laughable. It felt like he was setting us up for failure, preempting a rubber-dinghy rapid ride of a marriage where we would need to ‘forgive’ each other for having sinned.
It’s taken six years of marriage and six years of that line in the back of my mind for me to truly understand what he meant.
To me that forgiveness is about choosing your battles. It’s about being on
SelfishMother.com
2
the same team. It’s choosing to compromise. Letting go of the little things. Every single day we forgive in so many ways.
But just the term forgiveness implies that a sin has taken place, that you have felt wronged in some way.
In real life and in marriage those ‘sins’ can be as small as the wet towel in the floor, to as big as having different political beliefs.
The way we choose to deal with each situation dictates how much or how little we forgive. So we compromise. We don’t rock the boat. We let the little things go. We forgive each
SelfishMother.com
3
other and we forgive ourselves.
Finding forgiveness as a mother has been much harder for me.
As a little girl I always set myself high standards. When things went wrong I often struggled to forgive myself and to move forward and see a new pathway to that original goal.
Since having children that drive to be my best is still there and time after time I have struggled to meet my own expectations. It’s so easy as a new mum and a first time mum to absorb the pressures all around and want to get it right (or to appear to be getting it right). When
SelfishMother.com
4
things didn’t go to plan and the guilt kicked in I felt I had failed to meet my own standards. So in being the best mum I can be I need to learn to forgive myself. I have not sinned.
Like marriage, parenting is not plain sailing. I have navigated the rocky waters of motherhood, capsized and got back in in boat.
I know that in the future the boat will overturn again. And when it does, I will forgive myself because after all, forgiveness is forgiveness.
SelfishMother.com
This blog was originally posted on SelfishMother.com - why not sign up & share what's on your mind, too?
Why not write for Selfish Mother, too? You can for free and post immediately.
We regularly share posts on @SelfishMother Instagram and Facebook :)
Rachel Cole - 30 Dec 17
When my husband and I got married the vicar gave the strangest sermon. The one piece of advice he gave us was that ‘forgiveness is forgiveness’.
At the time this was laughable. It felt like he was setting us up for failure, preempting a rubber-dinghy rapid ride of a marriage where we would need to ‘forgive’ each other for having sinned.
It’s taken six years of marriage and six years of that line in the back of my mind for me to truly understand what he meant.
To me that forgiveness is about choosing your battles. It’s about being on the same team. It’s choosing to compromise. Letting go of the little things. Every single day we forgive in so many ways.
But just the term forgiveness implies that a sin has taken place, that you have felt wronged in some way.
In real life and in marriage those ‘sins’ can be as small as the wet towel in the floor, to as big as having different political beliefs.
The way we choose to deal with each situation dictates how much or how little we forgive. So we compromise. We don’t rock the boat. We let the little things go. We forgive each other and we forgive ourselves.
Finding forgiveness as a mother has been much harder for me.
As a little girl I always set myself high standards. When things went wrong I often struggled to forgive myself and to move forward and see a new pathway to that original goal.
Since having children that drive to be my best is still there and time after time I have struggled to meet my own expectations. It’s so easy as a new mum and a first time mum to absorb the pressures all around and want to get it right (or to appear to be getting it right). When things didn’t go to plan and the guilt kicked in I felt I had failed to meet my own standards. So in being the best mum I can be I need to learn to forgive myself. I have not sinned.
Like marriage, parenting is not plain sailing. I have navigated the rocky waters of motherhood, capsized and got back in in boat.
I know that in the future the boat will overturn again. And when it does, I will forgive myself because after all, forgiveness is forgiveness.
Did you enjoy this post? If so please support the writer: like, share and comment!
Why not , too? You can share posts & events immediately. It's free!
LIST 
