Hey school time!!! As a parent of a new start, the last two weeks have been a rollercoaster. New routines, new clothes, new expectations, new after school clubs, and many, many letters to sign. Ooof, transitions. With one just starting at primary school and the other off to nursery for the first time, we expected some big feels. Despite prescribing myself a diet of jazz, yoga, queer eye, red wine, and #chillvibes, I totally forgot that life goes on. We’ve had hospital visits, mega tantrums, minor paddies, teething, asthma, leaving work early and
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starting late, we’ve been doing what so many of us do- juggle. And this is FINE NO REALLY IT’S FINE but let’s be real, that mental load is *heavy*. Parenting is in the main, playful, wonderful and beautiful. My daughter is hilarious and independent and a force of nature and my son is adventurous and joyous and sweet. But it’s also hard, complicated and totes emosh like OMG can you even.
And it’s not just us- every school gate chat, every play date, every music class and swimming lesson- everyone is feeling it. This parenting malarkey is I
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N T E N S E, with most of the work we do when we parent being in those small battles and everyday relationships, it goes completely unnoticed and unrewarded. Whatever you think of the 11 plus, one thing it’s left me with is a life-long need for constant reward and recognition (healthy), so this current set up does not suit me one bit.
Whilst I’ve been hearing a lot from friends and acquaintances about reinforcing positive behaviour of little people with charts and stickers- I’ve heard *nothing* about reward charts and stickers for us big people.
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Literally no-one offers me a toy for not shouting at people in playgroup, and no-one gives me a chocolate button for sitting nicely on the bus four times in a row, no-one! And yeah sure, my son gave me his I’ve been brave sticker at the hospital, but I feel like the doctor should have given me first dibs. As anyone who’s had to pin down their bleeding and sobbing child knows, I really *had* been brave.
To address this unequal system of rewards, I’ve designed a series of stickers to help me- and I suspect you- get through those tougher parenting
SelfishMother.com
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moments. Remember that time when you did not lose it at 7am even though you’d been up since 5 and oh god you’ve got that meeting at 830- YOU DID IT! Or that other time when you had to deal with that awful meltdown in tesco express and the dude from next door tutted but you kept calm and got home- AMAZING! And hey what about that time when you went for a play date and your child kicked the other one??? WOW YOU HANDLED THAT WELL! Kids aren’t the only ones who deserve a gold star- parents do too, so whatever challenges you’re facing today, this half
SelfishMother.com
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an hour, this week, this month-you’ve got this and you’re doing an amazing job. Thumbs up.
Hey school time!!! As a parent of a new start, the last two weeks have been a rollercoaster. New routines, new clothes, new expectations, new after school clubs, and many, many letters to sign. Ooof, transitions. With one just starting at primary school and the other off to nursery for the first time, we expected some big feels. Despite prescribing myself a diet of jazz, yoga, queer eye, red wine, and #chillvibes, I totally forgot that life goes on. We’ve had hospital visits, mega tantrums, minor paddies, teething, asthma, leaving work early and starting late, we’ve been doing what so many of us do- juggle. And this is FINE NO REALLY IT’S FINE but let’s be real, that mental load is *heavy*. Parenting is in the main, playful, wonderful and beautiful. My daughter is hilarious and independent and a force of nature and my son is adventurous and joyous and sweet. But it’s also hard, complicated and totes emosh like OMG can you even.
And it’s not just us- every school gate chat, every play date, every music class and swimming lesson- everyone is feeling it. This parenting malarkey is I N T E N S E, with most of the work we do when we parent being in those small battles and everyday relationships, it goes completely unnoticed and unrewarded. Whatever you think of the 11 plus, one thing it’s left me with is a life-long need for constant reward and recognition (healthy), so this current set up does not suit me one bit.
Whilst I’ve been hearing a lot from friends and acquaintances about reinforcing positive behaviour of little people with charts and stickers- I’ve heard *nothing* about reward charts and stickers for us big people. Literally no-one offers me a toy for not shouting at people in playgroup, and no-one gives me a chocolate button for sitting nicely on the bus four times in a row, no-one! And yeah sure, my son gave me his I’ve been brave sticker at the hospital, but I feel like the doctor should have given me first dibs. As anyone who’s had to pin down their bleeding and sobbing child knows, I really *had* been brave.
To address this unequal system of rewards, I’ve designed a series of stickers to help me- and I suspect you- get through those tougher parenting moments. Remember that time when you did not lose it at 7am even though you’d been up since 5 and oh god you’ve got that meeting at 830- YOU DID IT! Or that other time when you had to deal with that awful meltdown in tesco express and the dude from next door tutted but you kept calm and got home- AMAZING! And hey what about that time when you went for a play date and your child kicked the other one??? WOW YOU HANDLED THAT WELL! Kids aren’t the only ones who deserve a gold star- parents do too, so whatever challenges you’re facing today, this half an hour, this week, this month-you’ve got this and you’re doing an amazing job. Thumbs up.
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