Grandparent Envy

Hannah Harris - 4 May 17

I have a confession; I’m jealous of my children’s grandparents.

When my daughter has seen her Grampy or Nana and she relays what fun she’s had; where they’ve been, what they’ve done, the delicious lunches they’ve eaten, the ice creams​ they’ve enjoyed etc etc I’m maybe 90% happy and 10% envious.

I know it’s childish, I know it’s ridiculous, but I can’t help thinking, where were these relaxed, laughing people when I was little?

Here are some examples;

1. When I was a child, sweets, biscuits and cakes were like gold dust. In my mind, we poor unfortunate souls were akin to Charlie Bucket, he of Chocolate Factory fame. When the coveted confection did make a rare appearance it would be strictly limited, I’m talking about a single mars bar being cut into slices and shared between all 5 of us. Seriously!

Fast forward 30 years and my daughter, on her first sleepover at my mum’s, had chocolate fingers for breakfast! Chocolate fingers!! We weren’t even allowed Coco pops as children, and they at least come under the guise of a cereal!

2. TV and computer time (the one computer in the house, with the dial up internet and floppy discs ) was minimal and the choice of programmes was slim. As grandparents, my dear Mum and Dad appear to have relaxed the rules. Ben and Holly in bed on the tablet, sure! Peppa Pig at the theatre, why not!

3. I remember days out as a child being fun, but my two are experiencing a whole other realm of gaiety! I’m sure others also recall pleas to go on the carousel or bouncy castle being met with a firm ‘no’. Ha! The word does not seem to exist for the precious grandchildren! Of course we can ride on the train, yes you can go on the trampoline, yes yes yes yes YES!

4. I begged, begged, for some Kickers for months (please don’t judge me, it was the early 90s). It took all my skills of persuasion and hours of doing chores to get them, by which time I’m pretty sure they were no longer in fashion.

In contrast, I don’t think we ever see either of my parents without a gift changing hands. Sometimes it’s small; a book or stickers, other times it’s an entire outfit, a wendy house or a bike. I ask you!

And before you say it, I know. I know that it’s wonderful, I do cherish the beautiful relationship​ and I absolutely appreciate all they do for us. It makes my heart melt to see my little girl run to my Dad and bear hug him or my baby boy sleeping contentedly on my Mum.

But I’ve wondered if my parents enjoyed our childhood? And then I think, yes, of course they have! Because I am enjoying being a parent. But being a parent comes with all of the responsibility of raising children.

Grandparenting is an altogether different story. The laughs and silliness without the concern for discipline, the playtime without the constant niggle of awaiting household jobs, the days out unrestricted by a budget to be adhered to.

So I will sit back and smile as my children tell me that Grampy has the best stories, or that there are not enough chairs for me to have lunch at Nana’s house (apparently there were only enough for the two of them …). I’ll wave them off happily as they skip away for sleepovers, with no thought of a goodbye kiss for their Mum. My parents have earned this time; they put in the years of potty training, bottomless laundry and nagging. They deserve to bask in the glory that is the role of beloved Grandparent. Maybe one day, if I’m lucky, I’ll do the same!

Hannah Harris

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