Have Yourself a Merry Conscious Christmas

Fiona Ng - 3 Dec 18

This year I’ve decided I’m having a CONSCIOUS CHRISTMAS. Perhaps not a term that gets thrown around that much and you may even be wondering what a conscious Christmas is?

For myself it’s being present, it’s spending time with people that I can and WANT to consciously connect with. It’s being conscious of my thought process surrounding Christmas, being mindful and aware when my thoughts shift to lack and then quickly reminding myself of all the blessings I have. It’s expressing GRATITUDE. Getting down on my children’s level. Understanding their ‘real’ wants and needs and attuning to them. It’s making peace, it’s displaying self empathy and also stepping into others shoes. And with that being said I wanted to take a moment to offer some practical tools so you yourself can have a conscious Christmas.

1) Conscious conversations – of course Christmas is all everyone talks about at this time of the year and the question I HATE getting asked the most is “Have you started your Christmas shopping yet?” I know it isn’t a malicious question but regardless of the answer I feel it can be loaded with judgement. I mentioned in passing the other day that I had bought one gift (feeling pretty chuffed about that as well as it was only the 1st of December) for the other person to exclaim “Oh my god, you have only got one???” And considering I’m only buying about five I’m not sure how I was to then respond. Let’s think of some better questions to ask around this season which can in fact create more meaningful conversations:

“What does Christmas mean for you?” That would then encourage a dialogue between individuals sharing their beliefs and traditions around Christmas.

“Who are you choosing to spend Christmas with?” – again this could expand into an empowered conversation because regardless of who we are spending Christmas with it’s a choice, or should be (no one puts a gun to your head to spend Christmas with your in laws!)

“What’s your favourite Childhood memories of Christmas” – allowing space for us to express our own inner child and to also note what childhood memories will still try to recreate with our own children

2) Conscious thoughts – Christmas means different things to different people and regardless of what society, the media and Christmas movies portray – there isn’t a typical blue print for how Christmas ‘should’ look or ‘should’ be. Do you know there’s plenty of people, cultures etc who don’t even participate in Christmas and guess what – they are still happy. Start to become aware of the thoughts that are cropping up and see if they tie in with any limiting beliefs that you may have. Be aware of whether they are your ‘own’ thoughts, or societies, your families, or someone elses.

3) Consciously gain perspective –  One person could be thinking about how lonely they are at Christmas where another is dreading a HUGE over the top family Christmas with relations they don’t even like and their dream Christmas could actually be spent alone with a big glass of wine (or cup of tea) a good book and a nice relaxing bath (sounds like heaven to me)

*A good idea would be to switch off (or reduce) the use of social media at this time of the year so you are less likely to fall into the comparison trap. Because let’s face it – no one is going to upload photos of the family feud, the dad that’s always drunk or the kids that are disappointed that they didn’t get what they wanted!

4) Consciously connected – ‘GET CONNECTED TO YOUR KIDS BEFORE THE CHAOS BEGINS SO THEY CAN BE THEIR BEST SELVES’ I saw this on instagram the other week and wow – now how many people understand that if they aren’t filling up their kids love buckets it’s likely going to seep out in unwanted behaviour later on in the day??

Christmas can be just as equally stressful for children – especially if their routine goes to pot, they are surrounding by a lot of family/friends and theres expectations for them to be on their best behaviour when they are not performing monkeys.

Spending at least 30 minutes deeply connected with them before the day kicks off can pay off ten folds. What does your toddler like doing the most. Dancing to baby shark, playing hide and seek, imaginary play? Get down on their level and truly engage with them. Focus on what lights them up the most. And make sure you check in with them throughout the day. Steal 15 minutes to again consciously connect with them. Ask open ended questions about how they are finding Christmas. Is there anything you can do to help meet their needs better? Observe are they tired, hungry, overwhelmed. Tune out of ‘outside needs’ (extended family, guests) and ensure your children needs are put first.

5) Be Conscious to your self care needs – mums needs can often go to the bottom of the list 95% of the time. Ensure Christmas isn’t one of them. Instead of focusing on ‘gift lists’ create yourself a self care list. What do you need to make you happy and more peaceful?? It could be as suggested above switching off from social media (the new iPhone feature is amazing for assisting in reducing social media usage), it could be meditating first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Creating time to read  positive self help books, blogs, fiction.  Doing yoga, pilates. Creating positive mantras. Visualisation techniques. Don’t wait until January to focus on what you need. Do it now.

And remember happiness comes from connection, meaning and contribution. NOT from things.

Fiona Ng

Newcastle upon Tyne. Mum to daughters age (3) and (1) Entrepreneur, Writer, Conscious Parenting Coach

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