How to Have a Fundraiser for Your Kids Without Being a Jerk

Jennifer Landis - 17 Aug 18

With autumn approaching and the kids getting ready to head back to school, all the activities available to our munchkins for their merriment and enrichment are also coming back — and they require funding from our pockets. Dance, cheerleading, sports and scouts will practice curling their fists for that just-right assertive knock at the door or pitch ranges for screeching in parental ears from the latest sidewalk corner they take over.

I’m an advocate for access to activities for all kids, and it’s also amazing how some charities help step in and reduce the financial burden. But I know the start of the school season heralds some pushy parent and their kid cornering me at my house while I’m trying to hustle my kid from one activity to the next — cue angry mom stare and biting my lip on those few choice words.

While we need fundraisers, you don’t need to have one for your kids and be a major jerk about the fact that I don’t feel obligated to buy crap my family won’t eat or use, even as a doorstop.

The Two Most Annoying Fundraisers With Less-Jerky Approaches

Here are the two fundraisers I despise with a passion, and they’re often the evil but necessary kind you grudgingly go along with if you want your kid to participate.

Door-to-Door Overpriced Junk Fundraiser

The first offender reigns in as the door-to-door overpriced junk fundraiser that awards your kid dollar store quality crap for selling a few hundred bucks worth. Totally achievable.

Many parents go along with the silent understanding that there’s a mafia-style “You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours” system in place here. In other words, buy my kid’s overpriced fundraiser crap with a smile, and I’ll return the favor — hopefully.

If you’re okay with the system, by all means, continue, but stop guilt-tripping families who don’t want to participate in fundraising politics. In one survey, donors appreciated the more interactive and personal aspect of door-to-door sales. So, don’t be a pushy jerk. Don’t come back and continue to knock on the door like a serial killer is coming for you.

Is this really the life training you want for your kid? To end up selling knives door-to-door? Bringing sharp pointy objects into the mix — not a good idea.

If you have to, suck it up and write a check. Enlist friends and family who you know are okay with the system. You want your kid in? That’s your prerogative. Pay the piper and be done. Just don’t take it personally when I — or anyone else — say no.

Ain’t No Shame in the Panhandling for a Cause Fundraiser

Line number two here up under the excuse “But everyone does it.” The “Ain’t No Shame in the Panhandling for a Cause” fundraiser involves kids and their parents basically panhandling and trying every technique in the book to guilt, goad and swindle you as you attempt to run errands.

Imagine taking your kid to the dentist and getting confronted with these folks, and then, you sadly witness the odd kid with the sorry expression — apologizing for their overzealous and rude parent. Hello, catch-22, because you want to help the obviously decent kid out but not enable the parent’s behavior. Though, some of the kids act as rude as that parent — that case is an avoid-mode scenario, always.

What happened to car washes? Sometimes, it works out for the best — you can’t resist the energy of the kids, and the car needs a good scrub, anyway. I’m more than willing to pitch for the odd muffin in a bake sale. What happened to kids putting in an effort to learn the value of a hard-earned dollar and hard work? These are essential years to teach and learn valuable lessons.

Raising money for new playground equipment? Tap into your community. Each year, everyday people contribute 72 percent of donations to charity and not corporations. Get everyone involved in a community effort to show the positive impact such organization and care holds. Kids love to play, and parents need more of it. So, host a tournament with games of skill. Build up excitement and creativity around the site by inviting people to come build a fence and make art to display on it.

Need to raise money for a tournament or chronic health issue? Put on a talent show or set up an educational forum, screening or panel. Teach your kids to organize, give back and do so by putting in effort, care and creativity. They emerge more empowered and savvy citizens for it. Guilt-tripping someone into donating or tipping makes no one feel good in the long-term, but altruistic action from the heart releases endorphins, giving you a “helper’s high” — but you probably don’t want to use that term around your kid.

Don’t expect strangers or loved ones to hand over their hard-earned cash, unless they’re willing to do so. Lay off. Most of us are just trying to make it in the world, and when you stop leading with jerk tactics, we’re more likely to pause, consider and purchase — or at least lend a helping hand.

Jennifer Landis

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