Is my own happiness a selfish act! My children didn’t ask for any of this.

Steph Grainger - 30 Oct 17

You know this is not working anymore.

You know that you are making one another miserable.

You know that there is more to life than this.

You feel so frightened to utter the words out loud, petrified of what this means for you and your children, you haven’t really told anyone how you are feeling, because you struggle to even admit it to yourself.

How you wish you could go back to those days when we felt such deep love for one another, you wish you could force all those feelings to return

You remember the days when you both shared your hopes and dreams with one another, and chose to spend it together, you thought you knew what you wanted.

A home. A family. Happy times. Memories. Love. To grow old together.

So, you made a promise to stay together ‘till death us do part’, both so in love and ready for the next steps.

Fast forward to the present day, you have all that you set out to achieve, a beautiful home and children, but the love for one another has left the building, never to return.

Each day is an uphill struggle, as you are both battling with the darkness in your own way, both retreating to your corners at the end of each day, and neither of you wanting to be the one to make the first move.

How can you be the one that breaks up your happy home, how can you be the one to ruin your children’s lives.

They didn’t ask for any of this.

You look at them, beautifully and blissfully unaware of what is happening around them, as you have both got so good at pretending and living this way.

When you allow yourself to think forwards to what this would mean for so many people you love, the weight of that burden feels too hard to bear.

This is not just about you, the aftermath will affect so many, it’s not that easy to just walk away.

Is this a purely selfish act, am I wrong for wanting to feel happy too?

Yet you know, deep down inside what needs to be done, and putting it off is just prolonging the pain and sadness.

Because it is so sad, the love that has gone, has left a gaping hole, and you feel lost and lonely.

This was the very last thing you wanted for your children, their happiness has always been your priority, yet you know that it is time for you to put your happiness first.

Guilt has been keeping you frozen in time up until now. The guilt of making the break and the consequences that will be felt by all involved.

But you have woken and realise that there is more to this thing called life! It is time for you to be awake and present in your life.

You feel ready to start moving forwards, but just don’t know where to start?

“How do I begin the conversation; how do I speak to him and tell him I am done?”

“How will I cope when I see his heart breaking?”

“How an earth will we tell the children?”

I am always saying the following quote to my clients;

‘Out of your darkest days,

come your brightest revelations’

I say it so frequently, because I know it to be true.

When we really go deep and demand more for ourselves, demand happiness for ourselves, we are often faced with challenges to get there.

Outdated beliefs that have kept us frozen in fear (or our comfort zone), for years.

It is ONLY when we face them head on, and finally lay them to rest, that we can rise up, a little taller and take slightly bigger strides forwards.

We have to go to THERE, to get to the next phase.

It is not easy, trust me I know!

By making the conscious decision TODAY to want better, in any aspect in your life, is half the battle.

Once YOU decide that you deserve and want more, you can reach for more.

I want you to wake up every day knowing yourself just that little bit more and feeling happy with what you see when you look in the mirror.

I want you to feel good enough as a Mum, to know and lovingly accept every decision you have made and continue to make, as well as forgive yourself for the days where it all went a bit tits up!

I want you to show your kids that, as hard as life can be sometimes, happiness is the way forwards. And by allowing yourself to face ghosts of the past and finally release them, you are teaching them how to feel and experience the ups and the downs, with them knowing that they are always safe and loved unconditionally.

But mostly I want you to feel More Than Mum! Love and accept yourself and walk with inner confidence and peace.

I know this all sounds very scary and much easier to stay in the safety of your comfort zone.

But I have walked these paths, and I have sturdy and trusted shoes to walk beside you.

I will hold you safe whilst you bravely face all that you need too, in order to release and take the next step.

Make the conscious decision today, to want better for YOU.

Know now that You deserve happiness and joy in your lives.

Book a FREE Head-Space call with me today, and discover how to once and for all, Release and Rediscover the woman locked inside

Steph xx

Steph Grainger

Mum, wife, friend, proud owner of The Nesting Place, Chelmsford. Steph is also a Intuitive Transformational Coach

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