It’s good to talk… about maternal mental health
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Today is World Maternal Mental Health Day. This week is UK Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week.
Today, this week, this year, life is good. Life with our two boys is fun, frantic, chaotic and messy.
A year ago things were different. I had a six week old and a 22 month old. Life was still chaotic and messy. But life was also stressful. I was knackered and emotional. I wasn’t coping very well with the demands of a baby who didn’t sleep and a toddler who wanted to be on the go ALL. THE. TIME.
Life with a baby is exhausting. It’s isolating.
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It’s overwhelming.
It took me another four months to seek the support I really needed. I wouldn’t advise other new mums in my situation to wait so long before seeking help. But if you’re not sure where to turn, or what to do, these are a few things that really can help:
Sleep when the baby sleeps. This is such a cliché and one that I found so hard to get on board with. You don’t actually have to sleep but REST. Seriously, the washing up, the tidying up, the food shop – it can all wait. Instead, the instant the baby falls asleep, get
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yourself to bed, or to the sofa and veg out.
Get out of the house. Nothing helps my mood more than fresh air. Plus there’s less chance of your house being wrecked when you’re not there. Playgroups have been a godsend second time around – entertainment for my toddler, a hot drink and biccie for me, a seat to sit and feed the baby, company of other mums to chat to – and best of all on maternity leave – CHEAP!
Socialise. It might be the last thing you feel like doing but go, get out there. I remember at one point being so exhausted and sleep
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deprived and my mum friends were going out for dinner. I really just wanted to curl up in bed and do nothing but my husband insisted that I go. And I was so glad I listened to him. An evening of silly chat and giggles can do a whole lot of good for the soul.
Be kind to yourself. We are our own worst critics. Seriously, a new baby is tough. A new baby and a toddler? Yep, really tough. Acknowledge that. Sometimes you all need a good cry – baby, toddler and mum! Sometimes, it’s a huge achievement just to get to bedtime without everyone fed and
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watered. Celebrate the small wins every day.
Talk about it. Don’t bottle up how you’re feeling. Talk about it. To anyone and everyone. There’s such a taboo around talking about mental health and it feels like this is multiplied for new mums. You’ve supposedly got everything you ever wanted – your new baby. Some people do feel that instant rush of love and spend the next however many months in a beautiful baby bubble. But that’s not how it is for everyone. Sometimes other people are just waiting for you to start that conversation. Social
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media has made it even harder to see the real picture. Social media presents an often perfect picture of life. But it only tells a very small part of the story.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, depressed, upset, exhausted – there is help out there. In the end I took myself to my GP and was offered counselling and as someone who had never had counselling before, it was one of the most empowering and enriching experiences I have had. It might not be for everyone, but until you’ve tried everything you can, you don’t know what will help.
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Emily Taylor - 1 May 19
Today is World Maternal Mental Health Day. This week is UK Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week.
Today, this week, this year, life is good. Life with our two boys is fun, frantic, chaotic and messy.
A year ago things were different. I had a six week old and a 22 month old. Life was still chaotic and messy. But life was also stressful. I was knackered and emotional. I wasn’t coping very well with the demands of a baby who didn’t sleep and a toddler who wanted to be on the go ALL. THE. TIME.
Life with a baby is exhausting. It’s isolating. It’s overwhelming.
It took me another four months to seek the support I really needed. I wouldn’t advise other new mums in my situation to wait so long before seeking help. But if you’re not sure where to turn, or what to do, these are a few things that really can help:
Sleep when the baby sleeps. This is such a cliché and one that I found so hard to get on board with. You don’t actually have to sleep but REST. Seriously, the washing up, the tidying up, the food shop – it can all wait. Instead, the instant the baby falls asleep, get yourself to bed, or to the sofa and veg out.
Get out of the house. Nothing helps my mood more than fresh air. Plus there’s less chance of your house being wrecked when you’re not there. Playgroups have been a godsend second time around – entertainment for my toddler, a hot drink and biccie for me, a seat to sit and feed the baby, company of other mums to chat to – and best of all on maternity leave – CHEAP!
Socialise. It might be the last thing you feel like doing but go, get out there. I remember at one point being so exhausted and sleep deprived and my mum friends were going out for dinner. I really just wanted to curl up in bed and do nothing but my husband insisted that I go. And I was so glad I listened to him. An evening of silly chat and giggles can do a whole lot of good for the soul.
Be kind to yourself. We are our own worst critics. Seriously, a new baby is tough. A new baby and a toddler? Yep, really tough. Acknowledge that. Sometimes you all need a good cry – baby, toddler and mum! Sometimes, it’s a huge achievement just to get to bedtime without everyone fed and watered. Celebrate the small wins every day.
Talk about it. Don’t bottle up how you’re feeling. Talk about it. To anyone and everyone. There’s such a taboo around talking about mental health and it feels like this is multiplied for new mums. You’ve supposedly got everything you ever wanted – your new baby. Some people do feel that instant rush of love and spend the next however many months in a beautiful baby bubble. But that’s not how it is for everyone. Sometimes other people are just waiting for you to start that conversation. Social media has made it even harder to see the real picture. Social media presents an often perfect picture of life. But it only tells a very small part of the story.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, depressed, upset, exhausted – there is help out there. In the end I took myself to my GP and was offered counselling and as someone who had never had counselling before, it was one of the most empowering and enriching experiences I have had. It might not be for everyone, but until you’ve tried everything you can, you don’t know what will help.
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I'm a first time mum, blogging about my adventures over at The trainee mum. I'm totally winging it and loving it! Right now my life is consumed entirely by this tiny little boy which is overwhelming and wonderful all at once. I'm hoping at some point in the future, I'll remember who I was again!
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