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Letter to my boy

1
My darling boy,

This week you turn four months old. As I was checking the calendar on my ’phone earlier today, I realised that we are now into the last two weeks of my time with you on maternity leave. I am desperately trying to keep days clear so that the time slows down and I can make the most of this precious time with you but I fear I will fail.

It’s fair to say that motherhood came as a shock to me when your older sister arrived and I was quite happy to go back to work and begin ’finding me’ again when the time came. But she taught me so

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much about how to love little people and we’ve all reaped the benefits. This time, I’ve known better how to cherish the baby days.

I have loved our special time together and am in absolutely no rush to return to work. Your sister thrived. I know you will too. But the thought of it makes me sad. I just want to spend time with you, to play with you and watch you grow, as well as being there for your sister who has recently started school.

Running my own business though means I have to fund my own maternity leave (beyond statutory maternity pay) and

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pay other people to run the business while I’m away so that there’s still a business to go back to.

We don’t have the luxury of 6-12 months’ leave that other families have. This time around, I’m envious of other mothers who have that opportunity but remind myself that, while we lose out on some of this time together, we will gain in other ways.

Being my own boss means I can set my working hours to be there for you more as you and your sister grow up. I can work a four-day week to spend Fridays with you until you go to school. I can hopefully

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be there at the school gates, for assemblies, sports days and the like. So long as the business does well, I can also give you opportunities I didn’t have, give you every chance to thrive.

It should be a price worth paying but I’d love to stay in our baby bubble a little while longer.

For now, I’ll hold you a little longer; hug you a little closer; kiss you more than I ought to; drink you in (and wipe a tear from my eyes each day as I do). I will cherish our time together.

”Do not grieve for what is gone but be grateful that it

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happened”

I love you with all my heart.

Mummy xxx

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- 17 Sep 18

My darling boy,

This week you turn four months old. As I was checking the calendar on my ‘phone earlier today, I realised that we are now into the last two weeks of my time with you on maternity leave. I am desperately trying to keep days clear so that the time slows down and I can make the most of this precious time with you but I fear I will fail.

It’s fair to say that motherhood came as a shock to me when your older sister arrived and I was quite happy to go back to work and begin ‘finding me’ again when the time came. But she taught me so much about how to love little people and we’ve all reaped the benefits. This time, I’ve known better how to cherish the baby days.

I have loved our special time together and am in absolutely no rush to return to work. Your sister thrived. I know you will too. But the thought of it makes me sad. I just want to spend time with you, to play with you and watch you grow, as well as being there for your sister who has recently started school.

Running my own business though means I have to fund my own maternity leave (beyond statutory maternity pay) and pay other people to run the business while I’m away so that there’s still a business to go back to.

We don’t have the luxury of 6-12 months’ leave that other families have. This time around, I’m envious of other mothers who have that opportunity but remind myself that, while we lose out on some of this time together, we will gain in other ways.

Being my own boss means I can set my working hours to be there for you more as you and your sister grow up. I can work a four-day week to spend Fridays with you until you go to school. I can hopefully be there at the school gates, for assemblies, sports days and the like. So long as the business does well, I can also give you opportunities I didn’t have, give you every chance to thrive.

It should be a price worth paying but I’d love to stay in our baby bubble a little while longer.

For now, I’ll hold you a little longer; hug you a little closer; kiss you more than I ought to; drink you in (and wipe a tear from my eyes each day as I do). I will cherish our time together.

“Do not grieve for what is gone but be grateful that it happened”

I love you with all my heart.

Mummy xxx

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