Like it or not…

Emma Wright - 1 Oct 17

I am not an expert.  I am not a celebrity mum. I am not a writer.  I am a normal mum who has had two beautiful, laid back, clever and well behaved girls (well most of the time).  I often think of the time before I had children, even being a child myself, those days that you only have to worry about yourself, when getting up for work was horrendously difficult. Still living with your parents, no mortgage to worry about, and not mattering if you didn’t have a job or finding it impossible to decide where to spend your next summer holiday. Wow wouldn’t we all love a few weeks back there again?!

Giving advice to people is not something I take lightly and yet I am constantly reminded of my mistakes during my day to day, advising my students that their choices as teenagers will impact the rest of their life.  I have worked as a Cover Supervisor for the last seven years and have seen various types of students come through my classroom door. One of which sticks in my mind, which wasn’t helped by the fact she was in my first antenatal class. Knowing what I know now and my lack of knowledge when I was a teenager ignites a certain fuel inside me to help others achieve what I didn’t. Saying this, my parents have always been absolutely amazing. We lived in a lovely house on a hill, where our childhood was filled with making dens and pretending to be vets with injured birds. Although I’m sure they left the ‘clinic’ worse off than they arrived. Even though my parents instilled in me that I should always work my hardest, once I found boys it was much more difficult to concentrate. During my A Level Biology lessons, where I was supposed to be in school, I was at home with my boyfriend trying out a bit of biology of our own (sorry Mum). As fun as this was, the biology lessons would have had a longer lasting impact on my life, than a few sexy times with the ex.

There was one larger than life girl, who never attended her classes, didn’t appreciate her education and smoked like a chimney. I constantly told her if she just made more effort for the last few months of her last year in school she might look back and say ‘at least I tried’, but there was no want there, no ambition to do anything. After overhearing a few conversations, it became apparent that her parents weren’t working and hadn’t been for most of her life. Sometimes your children will only turn out to be what you want them to be, and I got the feeling maybe they weren’t encouraging her in the right direction. I was soon proven right when I turned up a year later at my antenatal class when there she was, 7 months pregnant at 16. She said to me, ‘I get money and I get a house now’. I can’t explain the disappointment I felt inside and the thought that maybe I could have made a difference to her life and now her baby’s life if I had advised a little harder. But as the years went on during my career it was obvious that some select few don’t want a lot out of life and if that’s what they want then you’ve just got to leave them to it. No matter how much you try and help, they just don’t want it. Needless to say I changed my antenatal classes.

I strongly believe that how you act towards others, the environment, the community and the world will impact directly on your child’s life. It is always about setting a good example and making sure you protect them from harm or anyone who could lead them astray. I am dreading the time when my girls come home with new friends, I know I will judge them on what they tell me, but how can you judge a 9 year old? You don’t, you judge the parent. Do you want to be one of those mums who other mums turn their noses up at? It is so important to set a good example and live your life how you want your child to live in the future. I am no Katie Hopkins in regard to my views on parenthood, far from it, but I think its time that parents took responsibility for their children’s behaviour and lack of aspirations, as I have seen both sides, and I know which side i’ll be on. Make your children love their life, no matter of your situation, make them understand right from wrong and that no matter what they do you will love them forever.

Emma Wright

Mummy of two girls, owner of 'The Organised Tubes' and wife to my wonderful husband!

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