Ode To My Hair

Carly Moosah - 24 Apr 20

Hair hair falling everywhere,
Leaving a path of my movements should you need to find me.
Wondering daily if I have enough of the strong stuff,
To survive the next rounds of chemotherapy.

We’ve had an interesting ride dear hair,
Nearly lost you all to my cousins home hair salon when I was 8.
Mum to the rescue when the round comb was totally stuck,
Bowl haircut with a little undercut didn’t look so great.

Around 11 you started going grey on me with vitiligo,
Mum to the rescue with an at home dye kit for my mane.
As the years went on my brown hair transformed to red,
But at 16 no more, to a salon I went and blonde I became.

With the trauma of grief at 27 my hair took a hit,
Alopecia and a wedding to plan was a bit shit,
Suffice to say I really did love my wedding hair day,
Shorter than planned but pretty anyway.

Now I risk losing you temporarily,
You are coming out in clumps, at times a little scary.
You hold so much of my identity,
Through all this madness with no hair would I recognise me?

Some say with AC chemo even with the cold cap you’ll be gone,
Others that you will retain some and it’ll grow back luscious & long,
Each pile of hair reminds me of the toxicity power,
Of what my body is dealing with hour by hour.

For now as you thin and start looking translucent,
I thank you for hanging around for this long.
11 bouts of chemo and you’ve proved pretty resilient,
Even the hairs on my legs which I’d be happy to trot along.

So hair hair falling everywhere,
Reminding me of this journey I take.
I will look to your clumps as a story of hope,
Of beauty, survival and an identity remake.

And as the phoenix rises from the ashes,
When one day my full head is covered again,
We will rejoice together in all we have been through,
Recovery, transformation and a super strength through pain.

Carly Moosah

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