Snakes and Ladders

@aliceinworryland - 17 Mar 19

‘These days won’t last forever’ Well, let’s hope not because right now – it’s really hard.

I’ve had very little sleep this week so that has a lot to do with how I’m feeling and in the danger of sounding repetitive, being a parent is tough.

I worry when I’m not enjoying it all, when I’m not cherishing every second. People so often say, we should be enjoying parenthood, cherishing it as they aren’t little for long and while I agree – they’re totally right, it doesn’t make it any less hard.

It’s a game of snakes and ladders.

One quick roll and you’re moving your counter up swiftly and smuggly: you think you’ve cracked it; it’s beginning to get that little bit easier: a good night’s sleep, a day without tantrums, a relatively calm teatime and a straightforward bedtime: you’re winning at life.

You have this nailed.

And then you hit a snake.

And down you go.

Sliding down that slippery surface, landing you further back than you silently prayed you would ever be again. Another bug, another bad night, another trip to the doctors, another cry, another overwhelming sense of panic, another anxiety attack, another day of what iffing, another day of feeling like it’s all too much. And then – another bug.

And so, while it can feel like you’re failing, running on empty and losing at life. You’re not. You’ve had a rough day, a tough week, a testing month and a difficult year, but you survived because you are a survivor and you’re doing better than you think.

While you’re not in control of what number the dice lands, you are the one throwing it. You are the one in control of your mind, your life and your children, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Yes, the snakes will come and go, but so will the ladders and they will be both longer and stronger just waiting to help you get back to where you once were –  and, if it’s a really good ladder, you may find yourself even further along than you ever imagined you’d be.

So don’t worry about what the lady at playgroup does, don’t worry about what the books say, don’t worry about the ‘Judgey Julie’s’ of this world. Don’t spend too much of your precious brain space worrying about getting it all right. Don’t spend too much time beating yourself up for what you deem to be failures. Instead, give yourself the credit for continuing to play, to roll the dice, even when you’re not sure where you’re about to land.

And have the strength to roll once more.

Remember, no one is forcing you to play by the rules of others. This is your game, your life. It’s about every turn, every move, every ladder and every snake that you experience, no one else. It’s not about the win, or the loss. It’s about you and your game, played by your own rules, set at your own pace.

Be kind, be supportive, be the ladder. And together, let’s play alongside each other, rather than against. After all, we are all in this parenthood game together and are all just doing our best.

@aliceinworryland

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