Snoring is ruining my life

Diva Mum - 17 Feb 19

It’s 2am and the drilling has started. You wake with a start and want to wake your fiancé up to tell him to go next door and talk to them about the noise! Then you realise, it’s not the neighbours drilling again, it’s coming from him, he’s snoring. 

You punch him in the shoulder, probably harder than intended but you know, snoring! He wakes with a start of his own, moans and rolls over. For all of 30 seconds it’s quiet again. 30 seconds isn’t very long. Repeat above steps until you can cope no more, so you go downstairs and join the cat on the sofa instead. 

What am I complaining about? For the love of God woman, everyone snores sometimes! Yes, that’s true, but this isn’t sometimes, this is Every. Single. Night! 

Snoring has come close a number of times, to destroying our relationship. I have a chronic illness and sleep is crucial for my body to repair nightly and reduce symptoms. I can’t function on less than 8 hours. Gone are the days I can stay out until 4am and get up at 9. No, I NEED sleep. I have a child, I can’t afford to be faced with the fatigue that follows you around after a sleepless night.

So what can I do about it you ask? Well, I do a lot of punching, and a lot of sofa sleeping. We don’t have the luxury of a third bedroom in our house, so fortunately or unfortunately, we don’t have the option not to share a room. I know, that sounds an extremity, but I know a lot of couples that have their own bedrooms based on the fact that one of them incessantly snores. In my Fiancé’s defence, he’s been to see his GP about our little but loud problem. More than once, and do you know their advice? To go on a website and read the tips. Like we haven’t read every tip there is to read about snoring, online already!! Sure, thanks Doc, why didn’t I think of that? He’s tried, nasal strips, throat spray, throat foam, even a chin strap to keep his mouth closed, didn’t work. The only thing that allows me sleep is if I go to bed an hour before and get to sleep before him, so that when he starts, I’m already asleep. Sometimes he STILL wakes me up. Not to mention the fact going to bed an hour before him makes our sex life impractical and irregular, but also you lose a closeness between you. You lose the cuddle that comes before you roll over to sleep. You lose the leg over that cocoons you during the night, and makes you feel safe. 

It sounds like a real first world problem, and is I guess, but it really does test our relationship. I wake up some days so resentful that his snoring has kept me from the sleep my body demands, I don’t want to talk to him. Other days he wakes up resentful that I’ve banished him to the sofa for something that’s not his fault. I can still hear him from the sofa, but it’s a welcome dulled down version to when he’s sharing a bed with me. I don’t know what the answer is? But sleep therapy isn’t well funded by the nhs and it’s another expense we can’t afford at the moment. What’s the cost to our relationship if we don’t though? I know it’s not his fault but it makes no odds to the despair I feel nightly. Buy a bigger house? Wear ear plugs? (Tried can’t hear toddler in the night then though) put a pillow over his face? Maybe! The irony is apparently that I also snore loudly, but I don’t keep him awake so if we’re competing then he’s still in the lead for the loudest and most annoying!  It’s something I don’t think I’ll ever be able to live with, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to live without him. So here I am preparing for another shit nights sleep, getting the pre bedtime cuddle in, just in case I have to abort the master bedroom again!

Diva Mum

31 year old, over thinker, tea drinker, over sharer & over swearer. Loves: my child (obviously) moaning, beach walks, tea and writing!

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