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Jo Adamson-Parker - 30 Apr 19

This morning was a tough one and, as is often the case, it came out of nowhere. There’s no build up, no warning and I’m left feeling humiliated and hurt. As I said ‘bye’ to Bubba, without any provocation, the kicking started. His foot came up before I could dodge it and before I’d realised, it was up again, him holding onto my arm to keep me within kicking distance. Kick kick kick.

It’s not happened for a while so it was a bit of a shock to say the least. It hurt but the humiliation felt much worse. I felt humiliated at his classmates seeing me in that moment, all of them stunned and unsure how to react as he kicked and laughed for no reason.

But I’ve written about my experiences with CPV before. It’s just a part of my life. My reason for writing about today is because, parents struggle and we need to connect, to start conversations, to see that, in the words of Mulder and Scully, ‘We Are Not Alone’.

Being a parent, or a carer, is the hardest job in the world. It’s bloody tough and we’re expected to get on with it when some days we just want to curl up and hide.  Every day parents and carers are pushed to their limits and where’s the support they need?

Who do you turn to? Who helps to hold you up, give you a break, tell you you’re doing a good job? This morning I felt raw and broken but I had friends I knew I was seeing. They can’t make it go away but they can listen and sometimes that’s all you need.

I think if we start to talk more, in school yards, playgroups, in the playground, we might just find that the Mum you thought had it all together is, under the surface just like you.

I know when I collect Bubba later he’ll have forgotten all about it but for me it’s a reminder that I often feel alone, I often feel hurt and that I need to connect. I need my friends.

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Jo Adamson-Parker

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