Stop waiting for your real life to begin!

Rachel Buckley - 29 Dec 18

It’s nearly new year and nearly that time when you believe you have to make a major change because everyone else’s life is definitely better/cooler/easier than yours. We all believe this. It’s some how pre programmed in us or maybe filtered in bit by bit throughout every year as some kind of anxiety inducing conspiracy.

I received another sucker punch this week (as you can see from my insta handle @sucker_punch_learning this isn’t the first). A friend said to me “when are you going to get me a job like yours it’s so much easier than mine”. I’m a special needs teacher. It’s fun, it’s challenging, it’s heartwarming and heart wrenching in equal measure. Is it easier? No. I work in lots of different schools so my car has to contain everything I would need to get a year 6 with autism through a SATS test and a 3 year old with a severe learning disability to stop screaming. I have to be the person who tells a parent their worst fears and have them hate me for it one minute then need me to hold their hand and fight for them the next. I love it and it’s totally me which is all any of us should be looking for.

Nor am I one of these teachers who considers their profession to be the hardest one in the world. Because the truth is none of us have it easy. Yes in the 2 weeks I’ve got “off” I’ve had to do some work. But did I consider that my friend who had to decide between a night shift as a paramedic Christmas Eve and being knackered for the kids the next day or just doing the Christmas day shift had it easier? No. Did I assume that because my neighbour works in a low paid part time job their life was easier?  No. They decided between presents and Christmas dinner. It couldn’t be both. Did I even assume the ‘influencers’ had it easier? God no. They probably had to schedule posts and interact over the festive period with people they don’t know on top of all the family.

We seem to get to a point each year where we’re waiting for our real lives to begin. Where we assume because it’s not like the movies that this can’t be it. We look over at someone else and think oh if I just had that or did this. For example there’s a lot of bashing people who have lots of followers on social media. For people saying well if only I got the engagement they did on my page. When the truth is they probably get only 10% likes from their followers too and a hell of a lot more trolling and shit.

We look at other people’s families and think in a few years I’ll have it easier because my child will walk/talk/be at school/manage their emotions as I’ve seen other kids do. They have a nanny/are a SAHM/Get to go to work. They have it easier than me.

So here’s the deal. Someone else’s life isn’t easier. It isn’t better. It isn’t cooler. It’s just different. There are 3 quotes I’m amalgamating for my resolutions. “Remember when you wanted what you have now” seen on @thefmlystore. “It’s ok for things to be just as they are” @sketchymuma. “Be you. Not them” @emilycoxhead.

Stop waiting for your real life to begin. This is it and once you realise that it might be easier/better and maybe even cooler.

Rachel Buckley

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