Tell me lies….

Mumma_dont_sugarcoat - 9 Jul 18

Everybody tells lies. From little porky pies to great big whoppers, to some it’s second nature whilst others struggle to keep it going, or give themselves away with flushed cheeks and stumbled words.

From a very early age we made it very clear to Big One that generally lying was bad. He knows that we’d rather he tell us the truth, irrespective of how bad it is, and he’s a big fan of Peter’s (the one with the sheep and the wolf). Lately he’s been testing us, seeing how far he can take a made up story before shouting “tricked you” and doubling over in laughter.

Whilst on one hand it’s quite cute to hear his elaborate tales of crocodiles pinching biscuits from his brother, we’re also slightly alarmed at how naturally it comes to him. He has perfected his poker face at the tender age of 4, and can remember every detail of his fabrications so they’re consistent. Thankfully he hasn’t yet realised how good he is at it (not something to boast about, I know) but I can already see problems arising.

The other day he said one of his friends at pre-school had threatened to hurt him if he didn’t do something. It took us a good 10 minutes to establish that they had in fact been playing a game not too dissimilar to dares, and the friend in question had said that some people would say that if they were mean and horrible, but for those 10 minutes I began imagining all the awkward conversations I would have to have.

Pre-school are pretty good at controlling their kids, but things do slip under the radar, which is understandable with a room of 30 children. How would I address it with them? Should I mention anything to the boys mum? HOW do you start that sort of conversation? Where would we begin explaining threats and bullying to our little boy? We’ve always tried to explain things to him and give him an answer to any question he may have, but would he understand that the world isn’t as sparkly and shiny as he thinks it is? He’s by no means innocent to the ways of the world, but the purity in everything he does and says is quite refreshing and a joy to see at times.

As adults we understand that sometimes lying can help a situation, keep others from harm, or just simply make lives a little bit easier for ourselves, but it’s a hard thing to get right, and all too often it gets out of control and actually does more harm than good. Even with our years of experience we get it wrong, and often lack the clarity or judgement to deal with it well.

One might argue that if we just simply told the truth life would be simpler. I for one don’t believe in sugarcoating things (obvs), but there are ways and means of doing that, and actually it’s sometimes quite refreshing to lay your cards on the table and know where you stand amongst people. It’s not easy to do mind, and I often get the “did she really just say that?” face. And yes, I did just say that, but would you rather I spout a load of shyte just to agree with you? Would make me a better person to be around?

Mumma_dont_sugarcoat

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