The Betwixtmas

Jo Adamson-Parker - 31 Dec 18

I suppose we’ve been a bit smug over Christmas really, thinking in a stunned way ‘well that wasn’t too bad was it, Bubba’s been alright’.

We’d expected a truly horrible time with him. It’d happened before at Christmas and as this December had already been full of attitude and acting up it’d seemed obvious we were heading towards a week of festive feuding. Didn’t happen.

Obviously we got excitement to the extreme and there was lots of singing and dancing and lets not forget the whooping which is always a joy, especially first thing on a morning before my first coffee.  But there were no major meltdowns or outbursts except for the usual ones when Squeak tried to get within two feet of his brother.

To Bubba, Squeak becomes a ‘Tiny Assassin’ as every time he goes near his brother or knocks a toy his way we hear the scream of ‘he hurt me, he did that on purpose’. Actually if he was an assassin his track record is pretty poor as he must have tried to kill Bubba several times a day in the last few months. Bubba always sees an accident as a targeted assault on him and it makes me sad each day that he can’t let his brother in. The little brother who adores him so much.

So, we thought we’d dodged it this year. We thought we’d skip nicely and calmly into the New Year without hearing the banging of doors and yelling of ‘you’re Meanines’ but no. No, the little sod saved it all up for the ‘in between’ time. He lulled us into a false security by saving it up for the ‘Betwixtmass’!

Friday morning started with a major paddy followed by a very dramatic stomp upstairs and a really impressive bedroom door slam. It was so good the sign fell off his door followed by a picture frame in his room falling down! I was a bit jealous to be honest, I’ve never been able to get a door to slam as effectively as he did.

And what horrible thing had I done this time to provoke the Oscar winning tears? Had I broken his toy? Had I punched him on purpose? Had I done something nice for Squeak and not for him because I don’t care about him? Nope nope and nope again but I was accused of all that and more in the ‘Betwixtness’ time.

What I’d actually done was take a long piece of ribbon off him.  I know!!! What was I thinking? Now some of you may think that’s a really horrible thing to do and to you I might indeed come across as a ‘meanie’  but have you experienced your house being turned into…I don’t even have a term for it.. If Bubba has access to string, ribbon, Sellotape, anything that you can use to tie things together with, dangle things with then he’s on a mission.

I’ve had toys tied together so tightly I needed scissors to cut them apart. I’ve had doors fastened together leaving the tiniest of openings to work with. I’ve had my kitchen turned into an obstacle course by tying chairs, toys and cupboard doors together! It’s really really annoying and can take ages to separate stuff!

He’s always had this compulsion to tie things up. It’s creative but not very useful so on Friday when we’re trying to get Grandma packed up and sent on her way I didn’t really need him to tie ribbon to the handle on my bedroom door, dangle it down the stairs and tie a bear to it. I took it off him cue explosion. He obviously recovered in seconds once asked if he wanted to go with ‘The Wife’ to the train station but obviously not before the slamming, screaming and yelling.

Once Grandma had disappeared back to where they talk funny  – ‘The South’, the sequence of hyperactivity, attitude and broken toys started. He’s just had a brilliant moment where he tried to kick Squeak so was told off. Obviously he was innocent so hit ‘The Wife’, stormed out of the living room (obviously slamming the doors) punched the wall (not the boxing bag next to it meant for such moments) and sulked in a corner!

They’re always just flashes and now, minutes later he’s cuddled up on ‘The Wife’ like nothing has happened. Our job is to find ways for him to manages these flashes. They’re never malicious and borne from pure frustration and emotion.

We take it one day at a time. Here’s to a New Year everyone, may I be patient and compassionate and retain some sanity through it!

Jo Adamson-Parker

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